Where Bluebirds Fly
by TheIdesofMarch
Summary: She came to Middle Earth without purpose, without a name, and without her memory. When an instinct to heal becomes the lifeline of another, will she be able to stand up to her fears and remember herself? Complete
1. Away Above The Rainbow

**For anyone who is reading Elemental Propriety, I have not abandoned it, I'm trying to work out some serious writers block, so I started this, lost it, and am now rewriting it as well. P: ah well... Hope you enjoy it. It came to me after suffering a sever back injury horseback riding. Also! If you notice spelling/Grammar, please let me know so I can fix it. :D  
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A humid breeze wound its way through the tall prairie grass singing humorously between the brittle brown stalks, taking little notice of a woman that had flattened a good proportion of its playground. The woman too seemed oblivious to the cool wind that was pulling at her hair and exposed skin as she lay unconscious amongst the dying winter grass. However a large black cricket did take notice of the woman, for she was currently laying on his home, and this did not please him. Anxious to have the large being removed from his abode he hopped cautiously up her arm and though her hair to settle impatiently on her cheek. Still she did not stir from her slumber, resentfully the cricket strummed its long leg against its wing admitting a loud alarming chirp. Startled, the woman sat bolt upright dazed by her rather rude wake-up call. Quickly she expelled the black cricket from her being while screeching in displeasure.

Rather ungracefully she got to her feet and surveyed the landscape around her. Immediately to her to left were a range of treacherous looking mountains, looming in the fading evening light, settled into the foot hills was a rustic building, or maybe a settlement. To her right was nothing but vast plains, unyielding and barren. Feeling quiet amiss the woman turned in a full circle. Certainly she did not remember being in the country, let alone this a secluded part of it, nor did she remember how she could have gotten here, and now that she thought about it she wasn't even sure who she was. Did she have a name? An address? If she did she could not recall it by any account. The only thing she could remember was a largely populated city and an extraordinarily tedious desk job that dealt with medical transcripts. Brown eyes searched endlessly for something that was familiar to her, a tree, a brick, a building, but nothing in the fresh, empty land sparked a memory. Something rational inside her told her to stay calm and find the nearest people, that they could help her, thank the lord that there was a settlement in the west.

Turning herself to face the shadowed mountains she watched the sky turn from rosy velvet to a churning cauldron of ominous premonition. A storm was coming. Sighing heavily the woman started toward the flickering lights of the settlement. As she climbed uphill she found that she had been in a small valley and the sight that met her as she crested the hill chilled her to the bone. Miles in the distance she could make out the form of a marching battalion, numbers in the thousands, of creatures she could not identify, but was sure that they were no humans. An icy wash engulfed her stomach and she turned and ran for the sanctuary of the rustic building in the west. The mountain foothills quickly erupted around her, closing in on the path to what she could now tell was some sort of castle. A lonely turret rose from the mountain itself puncturing the sky with abandon. As she closed in the woman could tell now, the lights she had seen were in fact dozens of flickering torches. She found it immensely odd that she couldn't quite place the feeling that this was somehow wrong. That everything around her was oddly refreshing, new, and untouched by civilization. But who was she to say what was wrong or right? She couldn't remember her name.

Cautiously she climbed the inclining bridge to two large wooden doors, nervously she twisted the sleeve of her black shirt between her fingers before raising her fist to knock on the door, but suddenly she dropped it. Was she too knock courteously upon these huge doors or was she to simply fling them open and waltz on in? Before she could raise her hand again she heard and shout and the doors were opened. The commotion on the other side of the doors that greeted her startled her more than her morning wake up from the cricket. Men dressed in complete armor were milling about, the sliver of blades flashed against the dark and the muffled sound of speech wafted about.

Suddenly a roguish looking man clad in brown leather pulled her inside the walls of the keep.

"What are you doing outside of the walls?" He asked as she yanked her arm away from him. It seemed he was taking in her clothing for it was nothing like his. Her tunic was of a soft material almost softer than something of the elves. Her leggins were of a strange blue material that seemed unforgiving.

"Where am I?" She asked quietly taking in the splendorous hubbub of the building.

"You are at Helms Deep, m'lady, in Rohan," the man said cautiously cocking his head to the side.

"Oh," She answered. That told her nothing.

"What is your name?"

"I- I can't remember," Something clenched within her at the admittance that she didn't know her identity.

"Aragorn, what is this, why is she not in the caves with the others?" Another man with a thick beard and unseemly hair approached them looking arrogant yet very paranoid.

"Take her there Hama, she has lost her memory," Aragorn said quietly to the other man as the woman watched young boys, no older than 13, carrying swords nearly bigger than them. Hama gently took her by the arm and guided her to the caves where she found herself beguiled even more by the poorly dressed women and squalling children.

!

On the far side of the keep wall the cold and stoic Marchwarden of Lorien watched with his keen elven eyes as the woman crested the hill in the distance. For a brief second he considered alerting someone until he realized she was but a woman. Broader in stature and taller than even most human women she was solid. Her long brown hair was knotted around broken stalks of prairie grass and her unusual clothes were smudged with dirt. She had a kind face with large eyes that searched every surface, taking in every detail. Amused by the sudden appearance of the woman, Haldir watched her make her way across the plains stumbling every so often. Naturally the clumsiness of humans did not amuse Haldir in an appealing way but more in a sardonic way. He found them in general a useless and destructive race, few found exception in his eyes, Aragorn was one of them. Still maliciously amused he watched the woman hesitate at the gate and found himself wishing it had been his woods that she had wandered into.

!

The caves were damp and crowded smelling of mildew and human odor. The woman, feeling very introverted found herself an unoccupied corner at the base of a stalagmite and folded her knees up to her chin. She found herself in a very vulnerable position, she was trapped with no one to speak to and nothing to keep her mind occupied so she began to think. She quickly found that she was not a person who should be left alone with her thoughts. Questions that she could not possibly answer ran through her head one after the other, chasing each other though the vast space that was left empty in her mind. Years, faces, and names she couldn't place swam in and out of her subconscious, a name would surface but the face was absent and vice versa. It was enough to drive someone to the brink of insanity.

"Would you like some broth?" A tall woman with a curtain of blond hair had approached the woman and was holding a wooden bowl of steaming liquid out to her. Not feeling hungry the woman started to refuse but the bowl was forced into her hands.

"I don't believe we have met before," Said the blond haired woman settling to the ground. "I am Eowyn."

"Its nice to meet you," the woman said sipping at the broth. Immediately she spit it back into the bowl. It was the saltiest thing she had ever tasted. "Em, hot..." she lied at the cross look on Eowyns face. The expression softened slightly.

"Do you have a name?" She asked almost impatiently.

"I'm sure I do, but I can't seem to recall it at this particular moment." Another cross look greeted her. "I've lost my memory." Instantly the cross look fell and was replaced by pity.

"Oh, I'm sorry, that was very imprudent of me."

"Don't worry about it," The woman insisted a slight smile lifting her full lips. She set the bowl of broth aside and laid her head on her knees. Uncomfortable with the silence that had encased them, Eowyn rose to her feet and wandered farther along, tending to more of the women and children.

Suddenly a loud rumbling shook the cave, pebbles and dust fell from the stalactite covered ceiling, a woman cried out and hugged her children closer to her, somewhere across the cave a child wailed loudly and the sound hit the woman sharply in the head. The cave vanished and was replaced by a green law in fall, a beautiful little girl with dark hair and bright blue eyes danced around her, laughing melodiously, the sound echoing in the cavern of her mind. This was replaced suddenly by the same child screaming loudly, and the sound of metal crashing into metal. Her vision cleared as quickly as it had fogged over, her closest neighbors and Eowyn were casting her apprehensive looks, she must have cried out. Who was the crystal eyed little girl?

Emotionally and physically exhausted the woman brought her head to rest upon her knees again and willed the thoughts from her mind. Soon enough blessed nothingness consumed her.

The sound of many feet padding down a well trodden path was what woke the woman, if it had not been that, then surely the dreams would have woken her soon enough. She had dreamed of the little girl and an older woman, her mother maybe? Shaking the sleep from her head she stood up, inadvertently spilling the bowl of broth in the process. She looked around guiltily to see if anyone had seen, luckily for her it seemed they had not. Everyone was slowly making their way out the cavern doors. What ever threat had befallen these people was over, a great sense of relief was tangible even to a blind man.

Slowly the woman followed the crowed out of the caves and into the bright morning sunlight. It smelled of death and blood. In the vast valley large columns of putrid black smoke rose to meet the bluebird morning. A clear cold breeze blew down from the mountains casting the scent into the east and relieving them of the horrid stench. Feeling awkward and misplaced the woman wandered the keep walls until she came to a door that opened to a grand hall. It was dark and cool inside but smelled worse than it had outside. She watched the tunic, leggin, and jerkin clad men tending their fallen brethren and felt a strange twinge of pity. Why had this sad fate fallen upon these people? Why was she there to witness it? She didn't quite fit into this place, she knew this wasn't her home. Yet she didn't know how she had gotten there, if she was there, she must be there for a reason, wasn't she? And why couldn't she remember anything? Feeling her breath hitch the woman made her way over to an unoccupied bench and sat down. The open window allowed a soft wind to lightly caress its way into the room and calm her nerves. For several minutes she stared blankly out the window thinking of nothing. The utter nothingness that consumed a large portion of her mind was easy to get lost in. The breeze changed slightly turning colder and more incessant, a whisper seemed to float upon it, but the woman could not make out what it was say, only felt the urge to look into the darkest part of hall.

There laid out on the long tables, like the other injured soldiers, were four fair haired men, though they were kept in solitude from the others. Carefully, as if a misstep on her part would bring the entire building crumbling down, the woman weaved her way though the tables until she was standing inches from the men. As she looked closer she realized that they were not men at all. They were taller, fairer, and had strange pointed ears. Something invisible tugged her down the tables until she was standing over a broad shouldered being. He was turned on his side, his entire torso and his right arm wrapped in snow white bandages, stained by crimson. His blond hair fell lifelessly down his back and over his face. Careful, that she shouldn't wake him, she pushed the silken strands away from a handsome face.

It was unfair, she though, that a race so elegant, even in slumber, should be injured. Hesitantly she reached out her hands hovering so close to his wounds that she could feel a faint thud of a heartbeat. Unsure of what she was doing she closed her eyes and let herself mentally assess the wounds, in one shocking moment she found herself in a hospital ER, the terrifying sounds of people screaming, crash carts being used, and a panicked babble filled her head an instant before she felt her hands catch fire then a terrible ripping as her arm was sliced from the inside, the molten fire traveled up her arm and to her back where the illness tore its way free down the majority of her spine. She felt the use of her legs leave her before she crumpled to the ground, unconscious.


	2. Once In A Lullabye

**Thanks for all the faves and alerts! :D I want to apologize for the horendeous last chapter, 3am editing probably isn't the smartest idea...  
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The only sound that alerted the two Lorien brother to any form of disturbance near their healing brethren was a small almost inaudible gasp. Both brothers turned in unison to watch a young woman drop to the floor in the most unceremonious way. Still they rushed from their distraction and picked the young woman up from the floor. Her strange black tunic was sticky with blood and a great deal of it had already begun to pool on the floor at their feet. Carefully they laid her on a table across from their brother and called for their healer, Lothlinel.

"Whats happened?" She asked quickly removing the tunic from the young woman. For decency's sake Orophin and Rumil turned away.

"We know not, we left Haldir for a brief time and when we were returning she fell." Rumil said patiently.

"Was this woman on the battlefield?" Asked the healer incredulously. Her wounds were deep and unforgiving... and familiar. Perplexed the healer quickly stitched together her wounds and wrapped her snugly in white cotton bandages.

"She was not," Said Aragorn who had recently joined them. "I sent to the caves myself, what happened here?"

"We were wondering the same, Aragorn." Orophin said in a slight undertone. Lothlinel worked while the three other men discussed the strange woman. Her arm was particularly bad, but nothing he couldn't fix, it would take her several days, but it would be in fine working order. Her back was another task. There was no infection it it, no dirt, nothing to suggest she had been in battle at all. An odd occurrence indeed, she thought to herself as she covered her with a blanket. Lost in the peculiarity of the situation, Lothlinel made her way down the tables checking her other patients. When she came to Haldir she stopped, a sudden realization overcame her. The girls wounds were identical to his. Without hesitation she ripped the bandages from his back.

"What are you doing?" Asked Orophin entirely alarmed at the healers rough handling of his brother. Laughing, Lothlinel, showed the brothers and Aragorn the broad back of the Elven warrior. The only evidence of his wounds was a thin white line that traveled down his spine.

Rumil muttered an elvish prayer under his breath as they all stared in wonder.

"The human woman saved your brothers life," Lothlinel said bluntly. "He would have perished from the poison of the Uruk blade, your lucky she chose him."

"What?" Rumil and Orophin raised identical quizzical brows at the healer.

"Her wounds are your brothers wounds," Lothlinel said slowly covering the Marchwarden with a blanket.

"How?" Asked Aragorn who had been in silent observation the entire time.

"That is a question for her, not me," Lothlinel said mysteriously before turning to Rumil and Orophin. "You owe her your brothers life."

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Haldir felt as though he were floating in water wearing full body armor. He wasn't able to move, not a finger, not a toe. He could feel the warmth of sunlight on his face but could not open his eyes to behold the sight. Sounds were strangely muted, shifting together like voices on the wind. Quickly memories of the battle for Helms Deep flickered across his subconscious and he understood his lethargy. But where was his pain? He recalled vividly having his back cleaved and his arm scored by the crude Uruk blades, yet felt completely comfortable.

Painfully slowly he regained the motion of first his fingers then his arms, legs, and feet. Finally, after what seemed like a eternity Haldir was finally able to open his heavy eyelids. The room was dark, shadowed by flickering torches in equine figured sconces. As he moved to sit up his brothers accosted him from out of the blue.

"Would you insufferable gnats get off me?" He growled pushing his brothers away and sitting up completely. He quickly took stock of his surroundings his eyes lingering curiously on the slumbering human across from him. "What's happened?"

"You fell during battle," Orophin began.

"We thought you were lost brother," injected Rumil.

"I am far from it if you hadn't noticed Rumil," Haldir snapped pushing himself off the hard wooden table. "I remember being wounded, did by some miracle Lothlinel become more skilled a healer or have the humans gained a knowledge of healing that surpasses ours?"

"The latter is closer to the truth," said Orophin quietly. Rumil had stepped away from his brothers and was muttering an elvish prayer over the human woman.

"What do you mean?"

"She healed you brother," Rumil said with a pleasant smile. "She saved your life."

"And endangered her's in the process," concluded Orophin looking grim. Haldir gave them both looks of confusion. Had they lost their minds?

"She took your wounds into herself. She now fights the battle that you began" Haldir stood quietly for several moments, his brow furrowed in deep concentration as he looked at the pale and sickly looking human. With a finite and stubborn look he tore his gaze away and squared his shoulders.

"We leave for Lothlorien at dawn," He said coldly pushing past his brothers.

"Where are you going?" Asked Orophin with a raised brow.

"To find a tunic," Haldir stated coldly. As he neared the end of the row of tables an irritating pain sprung to life in his chest. Belligerently he continued through the hall the pain growing into a fire with every step he took. Finally he allowed himself to stop and lean against one of the abandoned tables.

"Haldir, what is it?" Asked Rumil coming to his brothers side. The Marchwarden could not speak for the pain and Orophin was employed to help Rumil haul him back to his table.

"Stop," He insisted as they neared the tables. "I am well now."

"Haldir you should rest," Rumil said in concern.

"I will rest when I am dead, Rumil," Haldir said taking a step backwards in the other direction. As soon as reached the end of the table to pain rose again, dull and flickering but noticeable. Hesitating he took a step back in the direction of his brothers instantly the pain vanished. He took another step forward and the subtle feeling of calmness washed over him. His brothers cast strange looks towards him as he took yet another step forward and another, slowly inching his way forward. When he came to stand next to the woman who had healed him the feeling of complete tranquility was almost overwhelming. He took a step closer to her and the feeling peaked. He cocked his head to the side, perplexed by the odd sensation and its connection to this woman. A human no less.

"Are you well brother?" Asked Orophin.

"Fine," He said, the question bringing him back to his senses. "Who is this woman?"

"We don't know," Replied Rumil. "Aragorn met her before the battle, she has lost her memory, not even she knows who she is." Haldir pondered at this for sometime, slowly edging away from her. The task was a tedious one, all he wished to do was stay in the contentment that consumed him when he was near her.

"Gather what is left of our battalion, fix litters for the wounded, we shall still leave for Lorien at dawn." He said when he was finally aware enough to give commands.

"Haldr, you speak foolishly, you are in no state to travel the distance!" Orophin hissed his eyes darkening with pent up anger at his stubborn brother.

"I will be fine Orophin," Haldir said in the same deadly tone. "As long as do not stray too far from the human."

"What madness has befallen you?" Orophin asked his thin brow arched elegantly.

"No madness has befallen me. The farther away I get from the human the more painful the flame in my chest." Both Orophin and Rumil stared at Haldir in brief concern, they knew he was not jesting for he was far too mannered for that. Irritated with his brothers inept ability to fathom his predicament he sent them on their way to ready the battalion.


	3. Dare To Dream

**Thanks again to everyone who has added this story to their alerts and faves! It means a lot and keeps me writing. I will try and make the time between chapters shorter but keep in mind that even though I have wrote this once, you guys are going on the journey with me again. I do have an outline, but no chapters are pre-prepared. To those of you who reviewed you are amazing, thank you SO much, and don't worry, I can't abandon this, it keeps me up at night. :P**

**Also If anyone feels the need to hit me up on yahoo or skype my users are Bunny_ and fishyappleandbrowie. I always like to have someone to bounce plot ideas off of. :)  
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The watery light of dawn seeped tiredly through the haze of morning fog making figured silhouettes of the marching battalion from Lothlorien. Seventeen, seventeen were all that remained of the original one hundred and three elves that had left Lorien. Both soldiers from Rivendell and Caras Galadhon had set out from the silver city, brothers, husbands, fathers, and sons. Haldir felt a deep ache at the sad sight his small battalion made, his brothers flanked him at the head of the battalion. Each of them kept casting inconspicuous glances behind them to ensure the litter with the woman was close enough.

From the Deep bridge Aragorn and Theoden watched the melancholy troop trek across the dry Rohirrim planes. The last swish of gray cloak disappeared into the fog before either of them spoke.

"They sacrificed much for my country Aragorn, it seems cruel that I can give nothing in return." Mused Theoden King.

"They do not sacrifice needlessly or without council. They are a wise people and do not make heady decisions." Aragorn confessed leaning against the embankment of the Deep wall.

"Why is it that they take the woman with them?"

"When I asked The Marchwarden of it, he was very shaded on the subject," an amused smile played on Aragorn's lips.

"They are a very secretive race," Concluded Theoden before turning and walking back into the keep.

Three days into their march Orophin pleaded with Haldir to let the wounded rest. A league from forest of Lothlorien the battalion stopped. Lothlinel checked the wounded, dressed the wounds that were fading to mere scars and gave water to the thirsty. The young woman was still deep in a fevered sleep her wounds raw and uncompelling. She would need the healing of Nestarion, Loriens most skilled healer.

"You are very quiet brother," Commented Orophin as he, Rumil, and Haldir stood watch over those who rested. Haldir made no indication that he even noticed Rumil and Orophin's presence. He watched the horizon intently, eager to reach the comfort of the forest. Rumil furrowed his brow, ready to shake his brother into the present.

"What do you know of her?" Haldir asked suddenly taking both brothers by surprise.

"Only our earlier tale. Nothing more nothing less." Haldir shifted his cold gaze from the darkening sky to the several litters laid out in the brittle winter grass. The woman was odd, tall for humans and built strong and thick, nothing like the wispy and elegant elleths he was custom to. Her hair was uncommonly short, reaching just below her shoulders, glistening black in the pale light. Her clothes were completely unorthodox, strange blue trousers that fit too loose and a tunic with barely any sleeves. She was very peculiar, yet ordinary and unassuming. How could she be capable of such feat of consuming his wounds? Furrowing his brow he took several steps away from the litters and the flame flared in his chest. Gritting his teeth he took another step forward and held his ground.

Orophin and Rumil looked at each other with matching quizzical brows before joining their brother at the crest of the hill.

"Why do you willingly inflict this pain upon yourself?" Orophin asked placing a comforting hand on Haldir's shoulder. Haldir did not answer, only bowed his head against a bitter northern wind.

"He is a glutton for punishment Orophin, you know this as well as I," Rumil injected a waning smile dancing on his face. Rumil was ever the optimist, Haldir acknowledged this and found it endearing to a fault.

"I cannot be hindered by this. My duty is to the Lady and to be tied so finitely to this human is not acceptable." Haldir's voice was cold and sharp, unyielding as the great Mallorn tree. Orophin nodded in agreement but Rumil looked stunned.

"Have you lost all sense of appreciation, brother?" Asked Rumil his blue eyes clouded with doubt and betrayal. "That woman, that _human_, saved your life, risked her own, and you think that is unacceptable?" Without waiting for a reply, Rumil turned away and left the two older brothers. Haldir felt a twinge of shame, he was suppose to be better than the humans. _Had _he lost all sense of appreciation, morality?

"Gather them, we are not far from the border," Haldir gave the command shaking away the guilty feeling Rumil had left him with. Orophin did not hesitate to carry out the command, within the minute they were marching again.

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The sweet smell of spring drifted languidly from the forest, infant niphrodel and green Mellyrn blossoms, greeting the soldiers to their welcoming home. As they approached, lead by the solemn brothers, the gates to the city were thrown open. In the midst of the welcoming elves, standing regal and stoic was the Lady and Lord of Lorien. Great sorrow reflected in both their eyes at the small number that was returning from Helm Deep, it was no surprise though to Lady, she had foreseen this tragic even and what was to come of it. She watched her troubled Marchwarden with crystal eyes, feeling his sorrow and his guilt, his aggravation and torment.

"Orophin!" The screeching wail was heard throughout the clearing before the creature that had admitted it could be seen. Bursting from the trees in a swirl of copper colored skirt a fair haired, blue eyed elleth came. She threw her arms around Orophin's neck and began to rain light kisses down on his face.

"Sadronniel," Orophin tried to pry the she-elf away from him, the tips of his ears turning strawberry pink. Rumil smiled wryly and stepped away from the couple. He looked around and found Haldir standing with his back to the healing talans, slowly the healers were carrying the litters and their occupants into the talans. Rumil looked beyond Haldir to the top of the talans and found what he sought. Ushering a two healers through a door was a tall elleth with toffee colored hair, sensing Rumil's gaze she turned and looked down.

"Rumil!" She called waving a hand. Quickly she pushed past the ascending healers and ran the short distance to Rumil."Your alive!" She whispered beaming up at him. She and Rumil were two of the few elves that had were lucky enough to be born in the same year. They were the best of friends and had hardly been separated. "I had figured you'd thrown yourself off the embankment when the first horn blew."

"You nymph!" Rumil picked the elleth up and swung her around, causing her to giggle in a high pitched cadence. The disturbance drew the eyes of several mourning elders making the both of them blush in shame.

"Marrowyn!" Above them Nestarion called beckoning Marrowyn to return to her job.

"I have to go, meet me in the gardens to tell about the battle," With that she swept away, back up the stairs and into the healing flets.

"Would you ask for her hand already?" Rumil started at the voice beside him, he had not realized that Haldir had come to stand next him.

"We are friends Haldir, nothing more," Rumil said dragging his hand over his face. An amused smile graced Haldir's lips for the briefest of moments while he watch carefully where the woman was taken.

"That is what Orophin said as well." Haldir then walked away following the last of the litters up the stairs.

* * *

Despite the uproar outside the healing felts were silent, each room was peaceful and calm. Nestarion had called Marrowyn up from the ground to help care for a peculiar patient.

"A human?" Marrowyn had stuttered in surprise at the sight of her. It had been years since there had been a human in Lorien and never had she traveled to the human cities. "Where did they find her?"

"She saved the life of our Marchwarden," Nestarion said carefully removing the white bandages that Lothlinel had wrapped tightly around the woman. "Prepare a draught, she will need to sleep for several days." Marrowyn nodded quickly and left the room. Nestarion studied the wound briefly before applying a thick greenish brown paste to it and uttering soft elvish words. He reapplied the bandages as he pondered the young woman's predicament. Lothlinel had told him of the humans skill and he could feel her healing powers, but it was not nearly as powerful as even Marrowyns. How had she taken on the wounds of the Marchwarden, unless the Valar had been involved. Nestarion shook away the thought when Marrowyn came in holding a goblet of sugary smelling liquid.

"You shall stay close to her," Nestarion said. "Every time she wakes make sure she drinks from the draught."

"Yes, Ada," Marrowyn said setting the goblet on the window sill. Nestarion left quickly needing to tend to the others.

Haldir was suddenly very grateful that the bathhouses were so close to the healing talans. The pain in his chest was barely tolerable, enough so to get clean. He returned to the healing flets exhausted and yearning for his own bed, instead he settled into a wicker chair outside the door of a wounded human woman.

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Over the next few weeks Haldir slowly conditioned himself to the pain. Day by Day he could go farther from the nameless woman, until he was finally able to bathe in peace. The woman slept soundly, never waking, even when Marrowyn and Nestarion tended to her wounds. Painstakingly the muscles were stitching themselves back together, but there was still a partially severed nerve that would cause severe pain. It would be the last thing to heal.

The morning was light and warm, song birds twittered their melody as they lit from one branch to another. A thick layer of gray fog consumed the woman's mind, muffling the sound of the chirping birds. Her first thought was that she had been hit by a very large, very solid, Mac truck. Though it occurred to her that she, in all probability, would not be feeling anything if that had happened. Cautiously she opened her eyes and blinked away the sleep. She was laying on her stomach her head turned toward an opened window, the light spring breeze billowing the muslin curtains. She looked around, taking in the room. It was beautifully simplistic, a small table sat immediately next to the soft bed she was on, in the corner was a white wicker chair. The room itself was open and airy, warm despite the chill in the northern air.

A Cacophony of twittering birds caused the woman to jerk her head sideways, the sudden movement caused her entire body to move, the muscles down her spine rippled, contracting and pulling, finally making contact with the partially severed nerve. A spark of fire lit the nerve, sending white hot pain through the woman's body, up her spine, down her legs, and into the very core of her mind. A blood curdling shriek tore from her lips sending the melodious finches scattering from their perches.

The screech of a demon echoed throughout the forest stinging Haldir's ears from where he lounged peacefully outside the human's room. To his feet he flew and into the room, the woman was painfully contorted her back arched and frozen from muscle spasms, her face turned into her pillow while she gasped for breath. Without hesitation Haldir called for Nestarion and Marrowyn, almost immediately they were there, calming the woman and putting her back into the healing sleep. Unsettled Haldir backed out of the room and fled down the stairs and into the Lady's garden.

Confusion trickled into Haldir's brain as he realized it was anxiety that now twisted in his chest. Why did he feel this inane emotion for this human woman he didn't know? He owed her his life, but not his allegiance or his guilt. Angrily he raked his hands through his hair and sat heavily on a stone bench. Little yellow flowers mocked his conflict, vibrant and fragile in the spring. Desperately he wanted to kick at them, punish them for his failing facade, but that was not the conduction of a Marchwarden. Instead he bowed his head and massaged his throbbing temples, his waning frustration letting the flame in his chest be known.

"Is my Marchwarden loosing his fate?" The soft and melodious voice of Galadriel floated harmoniously through garden, playing in the wind. Haldir faltered for a mere millisecond before coming to his feet. "Calm yourself Haldir I am not here to berate you."

"Forgive me my Lady." Haldir said sitting back down.

"Forgive you for being a soldier, or forgive you for having emotions?" The Lady sat to the left of Haldir, graceful and elegant in each movement she made.

"Both perhaps," He gave a week chuckle while picking one of the little yellow flowers and spinning it between his fingers. He felt the gentle touch of his Lady's mind on his and willing let his guards down. What little the Lady didn't know of the Battle of Hornberg she soon found out, through the eyes of her faithful Marchwarden.

"The people of Middle Earth will know much more sorrow," the empathy laced in Galadriel's voice pulled at Haldir. "Yet, this is not what troubles you," a knowing smile teased her lips as she looked upon Haldir. "She is a very brave woman."

"Or very nescient," Haldir injected almost bitterly. The lady laughed jovially the sound chiming like bells around the garden.

"You were not so bitter once," She said lifting her ageless face to the warm sun.

"The world was not so cold," he answered laying the tiny flower aside. "Why can I not be away from her?"

"It is my theory," Galadriel said standing and walking languidly to a blooming willow tree. "That when she healed you, consumed your wounds, she took a small piece of you into her."

"A piece of me?" Haldir questioned a slender brow raised.

"A piece of your light, your soul." If this disturbed Haldir in anyway he did not show it, he simply lowered his gaze to the pebbled path.

"And is there a way for me to retrieve it?" He asked dreading the answer.

"Despite my infinite knowledge Haldir, I cannot answer that."

"Cannot, or will not?"

"Both perhaps," the slightly irritating smile once again graced Galadriels features as she strode away from Haldir.


	4. Away Above The Chimmney Tops

**You guys rock! I don't think Ive had this many faves and alerts! As I promised, shorter time between chapters. I don't expect it to be this short everytime, I was struck by inspiration, and I'm on spring break so yay! **

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"She is healing quickly," Nestarion observed as he and his daughter tended to the wounds. Another week had passed and already her external wounds were healed. Still Nestarion could feel the severed nerve unhealed and raw.

"Should we wake her?" Marrowyn asked, an almost childish gleam lighting her eyes.

"Let her wake in her own time, Marrowyn," Nestarion warned. "Then you may speak with her." Marrowyn nodded a bright smile lighting her face.

It wouldn't be another two days until the woman woke up. The day was overcast, reflecting Haldir's dismal mood. Desperate for contact with someone other than Marrowyn he had attempted to venture to Orophin's talan, failed miserably and settled himself with moping on a branch in the topmost canopy of the Healing talan tree.

A chill wind swept into the room, pushing past the curtains and brushing gently over the sleeping woman's face. The humid cold seeped into the woman's mind, waking her. Gingerly she turned her head to the side, taking in the room around her. It hadn't been a dream, the room was still simplistically beautiful. In the white wicker chair sat a tall and beautiful woman that she didn't recognize. Immediately when the woman came awake Marrowyn was on her feet hovering over her.

"Your awake," She chimed forcing the woman to drink from a cup. The cold water splashed sweetly down her throat, waking her completely.

"Where am I?" She asked attempting to push herself up on her elbows. Marrowyn instantly pushed her back into the bed, chastising her hastiness.

"You are in Caras Galadhon, the heart of Lothlorien." Marrowyn informed her with pride.

"Oh," The woman made no sign of recognition, merely stared out the window.

"I am Marrowyn, a healer," Marrowyn said, the curiosity and excitement glowing in her eyes.

"Its nice to meet you, Marrowyn. I would tell you my name, but I don't remember it." The woman's brown eyes darkened with pain.

"Well then we shall give you one," Marrowyn said cheerfully. The woman looked at her a trace of a smile tugging at her lips. Marrowyn sat back down in the chair looking extremely thoughtful. "Vanwamin, we shall call you Vanwamin."

"I like it," Said the woman after a moment of deliberation. "Its pretty, it's nothing I've heard before."

"Its a mixture of Quenya and Sindarin, it means Lost One," Marrowyn smiled brightly. Vanwamin gave a weak smile back, adjusting to her new name. It seemed fitting enough, she certainly was lost. "What was your city like?" Marrowyn was eager in her pursuit of knowledge.

"Big," Vanwamin said casting her gaze to the ceiling. She could remember living in a huge city, though which one, she couldn't say. "Noisy, polluted. Not exactly a great place." She laughed lightly and breathed deeply. "We don't have air like this there."

"That is sad indeed," Marrowyn mused sadly. "You have a strange accent, where are you from exactly."

"I, I don't know," She said shaking her head. "I don't remember much, just little things, my favorite color is blue and my birthday is November 15th. Things like that."

"I'm sorry," Marrowyn bowed her head.

"It's not your fault," Vanwamin insisted. "Oh! The man, who was injured, I- is he okay?"

"You mean Haldir," Marrowyn laughed. "Yes he is more than fine, if that is what you mean, he's been here every day actually."

"That's good, I'm glad he's okay," A smile graced Vanwamin's lips, brightening her face.

"Yes, he and his brothers are very grateful for what you've done," Marroywn smiled as well. Her smile suddenly faded and she began to toy nervously with the hem of her sleeve.

"Is something wrong?" Asked Vanwamin carefully.

"Don't think me imprudent, but... may I see your ears?"

"My ears?" Vanwamin laughed and drew her hair behind her ear. "There, a perfectly normal ear."

"How peculiar," Marrowyn gasped her blue eyes lighting up as she leaned closer, not that she needed to.

"Peculiar?" Vanwamin said in alarm. "What's peculiar? Whats wrong with my ear?" Frantically she pressed her hand to her ear and found it perfectly normal to the touch.

"No, no," Marrowyn corrected herself waving her hands. "Forgive me, there is nothing wrong with your ear, its just that I have never seen a human, and our ears are very much different." Marrowyn pulled the hair away from her delicate ears.

"Oh, my..." Vanwamin stared, this certainly wasn't normal. "You are aware that your ears are pointy, right?" Marrowyn gave crystal laugh and lowered her hair.

"I am, indeed," She laughed sitting in the chair again. "No matter, tell me more about your city." Before Vanwamin could question Marrowyn pointy ears, the enthusiastic woman had her talking about trivial things that she referred to as human.

The next few week continued in this manner, every morning when Vanwamin would wake, Marrowyn would be in the white wicker chair ready to question her endlessly. Vanwamin found the elf's curious nature endearing and it was not without its advantages. With every question Marrowyn asked, Vanwamin found herself remembering tiny details of things. Nothing important of course. Vanwamin was beginning to be able to sit upright for a few minutes at a time, stretch her arms and legs. Everyday after their inquisition Marroywn would work on healing the severed nerve, everyday it got a little better.

Warm sunshine filtered through the trees and gently waking Vanwamin, lazily she stayed still not opening her eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun. Finally she turned her face to the left and opened her eyes expecting to see Marroywn in her usual place, instead there sat the blond elf she had healed.

"Oh, jeeze," She gasped pulling up the blanket and moving against the wall.

"Your awake," Said Haldir nonchalantly.

"Yes, yes I am," Vanwamin said pushing herself into a sitting position. "You must be Haldir."

"And if I said I wasn't?"

"Well, then I'd have to wonder who was watching me sleep," She said laughing lightly. "Since your either Haldir or very liberal, I have to ask you if you're okay?"

"Okay?"

"Are you well?" She asked kindly. She often forgot that these people spoke in a more sophisticated way than she. " Last I saw you weren't exactly... in good health."

"I am perfectly well," Haldir said sitting forward. "And you would be the reason why." Vanwamin turned her gaze away from him. His piercing gray eyes causing blood to flood her cheeks.

"Not the only reason," She said twisting the soft material of the blanket between her fingers. "That wasn't me, it couldn't have been."

"In any circumstance, I thank you." Haldir continued to stare at her. She was a very strange human, he had every intention of holding her in contempt, disliking her. But she held a gentle curiosity, an innocents, and a humbleness that was not common in humans.

"Your welcome," She smiled, a sweet and true gesture.

"Marrowyn tells me that she has christened you Vanwamin."

"Yeah, its... pretty," Vanwamin said, an awkward and tacky air surrounding her.

"You dislike it?" Haldir asked.

"No! No thats not it," Vanwamin shook her head and raised hand. "Its not my name though."

"A name does not make the person," Haldir assured her. His wariness of human nature consuming him again.

"No, but when you have lost everything, it means something." Pain laced her voice and she turned her gaze to her hands.

"May I ask a question?"

"Anything."

"Why would you stake your life on a stranger?" Haldir asked with tentative gesture.

"Truthfully, I didn't know I was," She said keeping her eyes fixed on her worrying hands. She glanced up quickly to see the disappointed and almost hurt look cross Haldir's features. "But that doesn't mean I would take it back! Even if I had know, I would like to think I would still do it."

Haldir was taken aback. What had he been expecting? Her ardent hatred for wounding her so severely? Or perhaps her valiant proclamation that he owed her his life? Either way it was not the calm and sincerely unsure answer he had gotten. She was beginning to completely baffle him.

"Are you aware that I cannot go far from you?" Haldir's voice was bitter and hash, harsher than he had intended it.

"What?" The alarm in Vanwamin's voice rang out clearly.

"I cannot reach the edge of the fourteenth stair down before a flame ignites in my chest." His voice was softer this time, yet still held an edge.

"No, no I didn't know," She shook her head and sank into bed, her back aching sourly. "I'm so sorry."

"You're a very apologetic human," Haldir in defeat reclining in the wicker chair.

"Your a very spiteful... whatever you are." In truth Vanwamin wasn't sure what these creatures were yet. She had never thought to ask Marrowyn, she was much too likeable and distracted her ever time she thought something was different about her.

"Elf, I am an elf, you are a human, I am immortal, you are mortal." At his chesty outburst Vanwamin laughed. Loud and throaty, humorously with an edge of ill temper.

"You _are _arrogant arn't you?" Put off, Haldir rose from the chair and stalked out of the room. Vanwamin laughed quietly to herself, feeling to urge to ask the empty room if it was something she said. Marrowyn entered the room almost immediately after Haldir took his leave, looking confused.

"What did you do to irritate the Marchwarden so?" She asked while settling into the chair he had abandoned.

"I only called him arrogant," Vanwamin said the humor still in her voice. Marrowyn smiled sadly at the woman and began to embroider the tunic she had.

"Haldir is a tolerable elf, arrogant no doubt, but kind and genial none the less." Marrowyn spoke her words carefully. "And loyal, you will find none here who would be more willing to serve and protect this city."

"Tolerance and loyalty are no excuse for pride and prejudice," Vanwamin said, sobering suddenly. Marrowyn lowered her eyes, a deep flush coming over her.

"I am sorry," She said putting the stitchery aside. "We do not play host often to humans, because they are known for their greed and compulsive behavior."

"I would be insulted if it weren't true," Vanwamin said shaking her head. "You don't need to apologize."

"You are not like the humans I have learned of," Marrowyn said her eyes alight again. "You are kind and it seems imprudent that we judge all men by a singular behavior. However I feel that its important to tell you that Haldir is no so easily swayed. Despite his cold facade, he has suffered greatly and does not trust easily."

"Well its good that I like a challenge then," Vanwamin said with a laugh. "Or at least I think I do..."

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**Labyrinth Lover**: Yes poor Haldir... I think he's being kind of a baby really. haha, just kidding... Thank you for being the first to review and reviewing every chapter since.

**Haldirsbaby**: I am glad you like it so much! :D

**Emzy2k11:** Here's your update. Not sure she really has any abilities... :)

Thanks to everyone and remember reviews make me write faster! They make me happy and such, even if they arn't good ones!


	5. Cautiously Melting

**Gosh, the amazing feedback this fiction is getting amazes me! I thank each and everyone of you who have Faved, alerted, and most of all Reviewed! I'm sorry its taken me so long to get this updated, I thought I was going to be able to post a double feature but the chapter I'm on is not cooperating with me. Hopefully though it will be up in a few days.  
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**I noticed that I've forgotten a disclaimer every chapter, are they even necessary anymore? Well for my sake; I do not own LotR or anything associated with New Line Cinemas, Peter Jackson, or J.R.R. Tolkien. **

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Vanwamin hummed absentmindedly as she worked on the embroidery of a pillow case Marrowyn had given her. The tedious work was slightly more amicable than sitting alone in silence, however she found that it wasn't exactly her cup of tea. More often than not she found herself pricking her fingers or snagging the thread.

It was the first day she had been able to sit up for more than a few minutes and it was amazingly refreshing. As much as she tried though, she could not remember a single thing from her past. With a frustrated huff she set the pillow case aside and stared out the window. She didn't notice that Haldir had entered the room until he cleared his throat, he was already seated in the wicker chair.

"Oh jeepers! There you go with the ninja stuff," She picked the pillow case up and viciously stabbed at the material with the needle. "And I thought Marrowyn was the only one, of course not."

"Do you always ramble so incessantly?" Haldir asked a minute edge of humor in his voice.

"Not that I've noticed, but who knows, I could have been a nonstop rambler before I came here..."

"Something tells me that is more than a possibility," Haldir said.

"Did you just come here to insult me?" Vanwamin asked bristling slightly.

"Of course not," Haldir said halfheartedly.

"Well your kind of failing. I don't know if you know this or not but women don't usually like to be called incessant."

"I wasn't calling you incessant," Haldir said drolly.

"Could have fooled me," Vanwamin attacked her embroidery again. Haldir was half bemused and half irritated. He considered leaving again when she stabbed through the thin fabric of the pillow case and directly into her finger.

"Green Geckos that hurts worse each time I do it!" Vanwamin put the case aside to save it from her blood and put her finger in her mouth. Haldir shook his head and got up from the chair. He pulled something out of the drawer where Marroywn kept her bandages.

"Stop that, your going to infect it," He said grabbing her hand and dripping a peppermint smelling oil onto the wounded finger. He wrapped it in a white bandage and returned to his chair.

"If you weren't such a grumpy gus I would thank you." Vanwamin said with a smile.

"Grumpy gus?" He asked raising an eyebrow at the expression.

"Irritating neanderthal," She clarified picking up the stitching.

"And I'm the insulting one?"

"Heh, sorry, sometimes I don't think I have a filter," Vanwamin said a deep blush coming to her cheeks. Haldir almost forgot that she was an inept human for a moment, almost.

"Have you remembered anything?" He asked cautiously.

"No," Vanwamin bowed her and and let her hands fall into her lap. The defeated look was almost painful to see. It was hard to remember anything while you were confined to a single room. Minute flashes of broken memories would flicker like a broken projector reel across her dreams, but nothing meaningful could be pulled from it. "The memories are like ghosts, dancing close enough to touch then flying away once you reach for them."

"I'm sorry," Haldir said, disappointment washing over him. Suddenly he got up and walked out of the room. For some reason this vexed Vanwamin, all he wanted was for her to remember so she could free him.

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Over the next few days Haldir was scarcely seen in or around the healing talan. He was trying to slowly build his immunity to the fire in his chest. However it wasn't working so well. He could get as far as the bathhouses now without much consequence, but if he stayed that far away for very long the pain would become intolerable. It was maddening, nearly as maddening as the woman to whom he was knitted. Whenever Haldir did make the poor decision to check with her she always had sharp words to greet him with. They would always be cold and unforgiving then melt into apologies and retribution. When they weren't venomously insulting each other Haldir found it almost enjoyable to be around her.

Vanwamin however was finding the Marchwarden less and less agreeable. She realized that if she were in his position she too would want to be free from the burden and go on with life, but why make their time together wholly unpleasant? She didn't mean to be crass and unfavorable but there was something bitter and vindictive about Haldir that caused her defenses to rise in his presence. Something unpredictable, something scary. Like watching a trainer with his lions, knowing at any moment the beast could kill the man with a swipe of his paw. She was the trainer and Haldir was the lion.

It was another simplistically beautiful day and Vanwamin watched it pass her by with dull eyes. She was restless and the beginnings of depression were wrapping their tendrils around her brain. The pillow case she had been diligently maiming was now stashed behind her chest of drawers, blood stained and frayed. The sound of approaching foot falls sparked her interest, hoping it would be Marrowyn she shoved herself into a sitting position. The tall blond elf that entered the door was neither Marrowyn nor Haldir. His features highly resembled Haldir's yet he was taller, thinner, and had a warm aura about him.

"Hello, I am Rumil," His speech was richly accented. "I am Haldir's brother."

"They call me Vanwamin," She said with a smile. "Please, sit." She motioned to the chair that was usually occupied by Marrowyn or Haldir.

"How are you fairing?" Rumil asked.

"I am well," Vanwamin said softly, an awkward silence descending on them.

"I came here to thank you for saving my brothers life," Rumil said his gaze fixed out the open window.

"I wish people would stop thanking me, its not something I did selflessly, I don't need praise for it." Her words were sharper than she had intended them to be.

"They are correct when they say you are odd," Rumil laughed.

"What is with you people and insulting me?"

"Oh, I did not mean to insult you, it is not a bad thing," Rumil waved his hands trying to dispatch the words.

"It's fine, your brother just has a knack for irking me," Vanwamin offered him a kind smile.

"Aye, Haldir has a knack for irking many of us." Vanwamin laughed lightly at Rumil's good humor. It was a break from to stoicism Haldir carried with him. "Marrowyn tells me that you are almost healed."

"She says so, yet I still cannot leave this bed," Vanwamin sighed apathetically laughing at her own dramatics.

"I will see to it that the first thing you do is visit the Lady's gardens, when you are able."

"That sounds like a plan to me," Vanwamin said her eyes lighting at the prospect. Without much warning Marrowyn swept into the room looking highly irritated, but when she saw Rumil the irritation washed away to be replaced by adoration. Rumil jumped up from the chair in respect almost sending it toppling. Vanwamin laughed at the way she flustered him.

"What are you doing here Rumil?" Marrowyn asked in a elvish. Vanwamin cocked her head to the side listening to the musical language she had heard only a handful of other times. It was light and flowing like a spring stream that played amongst the rocks. It lulled her into a comfortable existence.

"I was just promising our guest a walk in the gardens when she is able," Rumil said in common.

"That is very kind of you," Marroyn said smiling. "However, you are going to have to walk on your own for now, we have a healing session."

"Very well. It was a pleasure to finally meet you Vanwamin." Rumil left with one last glance at Marrowyn.

"Is he your husband?" Asked Vanwamin as she rolled on to her back. At first she had found the sensation of Marrowyn's magic seeping into her wounds uncomfortable and just plain creepy, but now it was tolerable, if not enjoyable.

"Great Valor, no!" Marroywn said lifting the hem of Vanwamin's night shirt to access her back. She was glad the human couldn't see the blush that was racing up her neck and ears. "Rumil and I were the first elflings to be born in the same year in centuries, we have always been close."

"You would make a good couple," Vanwamin yawned nestling her head into her arms. These sessions always ended with her sound asleep.

"And you are the weaver of love now?" Marrowyn asked laughing. "Hush and let me work, I think this will be our last session, you will be able to walk after this."

"Its about time woman, I was beginning to think I would be bed ridden for the rest of my life." Vanwamin smiled happily into her sleeve, she couldn't wait to get up and move. Marrowyn laughed at her sarcasm and proceeded with the session.

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When Vanwamin woke up the world was dark, only the silver beams of the moon danced across the trees and spilled into the room. The cold blue luminance was bright and novel to Vanwamin, like she was seeing the moon for the first time. Slowly she shifted so she was sitting on the edge of the bed her feet barely touching the ground. The cold hardwood felt like heaven beneath her warm feet. With caution she put her full weight on shaking legs. She was weak, she figured she would be having spent so much time immobile. She grabbed onto the chest of drawers and steadily made her way across the room, using the wall, the windows, and anything else she could for support. She leaned against window letting the cool breeze wash over her. Her legs were trembling and she was close to breaking a sweat but it was glorious to be standing. She clutched the window sill, hapless emotions washing over her. Tears stung her eyes and her breath caught in her throat, happiness at being able to stand collided with the frustration of chasing her memories. With shaking hands she wiped her tears away and took a deep breath.

"You keep this up and people are going to think your less stable than they already do." She said to herself. She looked up at the bright stars, they didn't blink or fade here, there was no light pollution to create a haze. She felt so lost, so discomforted by what she thought would be familiar, how could the sky be so different? The creaking of the wicker chair behind her startled her and she turned with all the swiftness she use to. Her back however, unused and neglected was not ready for such movement and contracted violently against it. Pain seized every nerve and wrung it completely, twisting down her spine to her legs. The weak appendages gave way and with a startled cry Vanwamin collapsed onto the floor.

"Are you out of your mind?" A voice above her questioned as strong arms collected her off the floor. She could not answer for the pain had stolen her breath. She was laid in the bed and covered, her savior muttering under his breath the entire time. As the pain subsided Vanwamin opened her eyes and found that it was Haldir that had helped her. "What were you thinking?"

"Marrowyn said I would be able to walk," She muttered furiously wiping away the tears that had flowed freely down her face. Haldir looked at her, she was not the zealous, overly confident woman that so often fought with him. She was vulnerable and fragile looking, her dark hair twisting into the sheets that swallowed her entirely. The sadness and disappointment in her eyes almost broke him.

"Go back to sleep," He said pulling himself away from the bed to sit in the chair. He watched her until she closed her eyes and slumbered deeply. She was callous, brash, and entirely unsophisticated at time but there was also a gentleness and naivety about her. She beguiled him with her wisdom and her childishness. What beguiled him more was the feeling of utter contentment he was consumed by when he was close to her. It was something he never wanted to leave. It took away the hurt and memories of past, the things he wished he would forget.

With sudden enlightenment he came to terms with the fact that she would be a fixture in his life weather he wished it or not. And clearly she needed someone to catch her when she fell, he just hoped she wasn't too clumsy, for both their sakes.


	6. Found the Lemon Drops

**Hey Guys, thanks so much for all the alerts and faves! Sorry it took SO long to upload this chapter, between work, no internet, and writers block its been a hard write. Hopefully I'll be able to push through this boring filler and into something more exciting for ya'll. Hope you enjoy!**

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After several days of convincing Marrowyn that she was perfectly capable of movement on her own Vanwamin was allowed to leave the healing talans. True to his word Rumil had made sure her first outing was to the Gardens of Lady Galadriel. With spring waning into summer the gardens were lush and fully in bloom. Flowers that smelled of the sweetest aromas lined the paths. Roses and Lilies were amongst them but there were flowers she couldn't identify. Porcelain cups and fragile stems of the Niphrodel and winding ivy from which bloomed great purple flowers. Butterflies floated lazily through the shrubs while hummingbirds darted from Goldenmaids to Honeysuckle and back.

"This place is so beautiful," Vanwamin said as she strayed off the path to inhale the thick sent of a pale yellow flower. Never had she felt so content, so free to smile at the world around her. Rumil laughed as she rejoined him on the white stone path.

"The Lady tends it herself, every flower and shrub planted was placed here by her hands."

"Not afraid to get dirty, I like that." The rest of the short stroll was menial and tentatively boring. Neither of them spoke much, they were content to bask in the glory of the day.

Still relatively weak Vanwamin conceded that they should return to healing talans not long after noon. When they arrived she found her things gone and the bed stripped. Confused she called for Marrowyn.

"Haldir had them sent to his talan, he is insisted that your things be moved there, along with you." Marroywn said, an almost nervous tic coming to her jaw. Vanwamin furrowed her brow.

"He really knows how to push peoples buttons doesn't he?" She asked crossing her arms. Rumil and Marrowyn both chuckled.

"He does have a knack for it," Rumil agreed. "Come, I will show you to his talan, no doubt he waiting at the edge of his boundary." Slightly peeved Vanwamin followed silently. She was irritated with the lack of respect Haldir seemed to hold for her. Though she did not fully expect to be aloud to live in the healing talans forever.

Rumil lead her through the heart of the city, where pavilions set amongst aging statues and clear running fountains. She noticed that, although the city seemed vibrant and alive, there were few inhabitants.

"Where are all the people, Rumil?"

"Many have sailed to the west to the undying lands where they can live in peace, away from the wars of men." Rumil's voice was thick with sorrow. "Lady Galadriel will be leaving soon as well."

"Why do you and your brothers stay?"

"To protect our home. There will be a time when this earth turns gray with neglect. Trees will grow and fall, buildings will decay, and the earth will fall to man. Until we are dead or withered with age we will protect this city." Vanwamin wasn't sure what to say to the ardent proclamation so she placidly stayed silent. What would it be like to be so sure of something? So patriotic and strong willed that you would watch your family and friends leave for a better life? Was it a sacrifice that she would be willing to make? She didn't know.

Haldir waited, wavering at the brink of pain, perched in a city lookout tower. He watched as Rumil and Vanwamin picked their way through the city at a snails pace. Impatiently he waited for her to get close enough so that he could move ahead of them. How he longed to be in the comfort of his own talan, his own bed! He had never cursed the fact that his talan was outside of cities heart until now. He listened unabashed to the conversation the two were having and waited for her snide comment. But none came, instead she respectfully bowed her head and stayed silent. As they neared Haldir descended the steps to greet them.

"Ah, what did I tell you? Lurking like a goblin," Rumil said when spotted Haldir.

"Goblin? Better than an Orc I suppose," Haldir quipped casting a faux disgusted look over his brother.

"Surely you have mistaken me for Orophin," Rumil laughed playfully shoving at Haldir. In retaliation Haldir wrapped his younger brother in a head lock. "Haldir! Despite being immortal I do need the ability to breath!"

Vanwamin laughed at the sight the two made. She was more shocked than anything by Haldir's relaxed attitude. Their playful mannerism reminded her of something, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Haldir released Rumil laughing as he tried to straighten out his clothing. When they reached the base of a great tree, where the wooden stairs seemed to be part of the tree itself, they stopped. A tense and awkward silence overcame them as Rumil took his leave. Passively Vanwamin followed Haldir up the winding steps.

Inside of the lofty talan Vanwamin was consumed with an awkwardness that gave her pause. Her mind stuttered, looking for the appropriate expression for the current situation. None could be found. Instead she distracted herself with not quite admiring the simplicity of room. It was sterile and impersonal and she found it disconcerting.

The elf however seemed completely at ease as he threw open shutters to glassless windows and rummaged through the cupboards. Seemingly going through his normal routine without so much as acknowledging Vanwamin. Some childish part of her wanted to wave her hands at him and stomp her foot to gain his attention, to at least be looked upon. The other sane part of her wasn't sure she wanted that attention so she kept her hands still and her feet silent.

Finally, after checking every nook and cranny, Haldir seemed to remember she was there, standing by the door looking dejected and out of place. He grimaced at his lack of fortitude and ran a hand through his hair.

"Forgive me, I have not been a gracious host." The sudden loudness of Haldir's voice made Vanwamin jump, she had been lost in imperceptible thought.

"Why did you insist upon me moving here?" The sharpness of her tone sparked a kindling of Haldir's impatients.

"I'm not fond of resting in wicker chairs," he said keeping a cap on his temper.

"And what if I said I didn't want to stay here?" She asked placing her hands on her hips.

"Your misfortune is wasted on me for you are sacrificing nothing to be in the gracious care of the lady. If I were you, Eru forbid, I would not worry myself with accommodations and focus solely on how to repay your humble hosts!" Vanwamin took an unsteady step backwards as if she had been physically slapped. Her brown eyes grew wide for a moment before they narrowed into vicious slits of malcontent.

"Sacrificing nothing?" She said so quietly that not even Haldir was sure he had heard it right. "I have no memory, I have no home, I risked my_ life _for _you_!" She stabbed him in the chest with an finger. "And I have sacrificed _nothing_?"

"You admit your sacrifice was a mistake, you did not mean to take my wounds upon yourself. That was your mistake, I will not be the barer of misfortune for you because of it."

"I never said it was a mistake." Vanwamin was again very quiet. She had closed in on herself, making her look fragile and weak. And so she was. "I didn't know what would happen, but it wasn't a mistake. Despite your arrogance and your abhorrent personality, you would die to protect this place, this wonderful land where time stands still. I might not remember my past but I can say with certainty that I have never met anyone like you or your brothers. Your loyalty is beyond my comprehension. So, no, my sacrifice was not a mistake, no matter what you say to me or how arrogant you get it will never be a mistake. What would become of this land without you? Without your brothers?"

The clarity of mind with which she spoke startled Haldir. Once again in the human was making him feel guilty for his pride. He was an elf, one of the Eldar, a superior race. So why was this simple human woman able to see so much clearer than he was. Had he been so jaded by the years that he had lost all fate in humans and elves alike? What would have become of Rumil and Orophin had she not intervened? Would Lady Galadriel have sailed west? Would the boarders have been breached and more innocent lives lost? And yet nothing had happened while he waited for this human to recover.

Pride would not let him apologize to Vanwamin, desperately he wanted her to act human and be selfish or unbearable. Instead she just stood there and looked convicted. He sighed and turned away from her walking though an open door. Vanwamin stayed where she was convinced that she had not been wrong to confront him. Moments later he returned and motioned for her to follow him. Hesitantly she did so. Haldir lead her through a short hall and into a room that was open to the skies. Sheer muslin drapes were all that separated the room from the world. It was ethereal in it white opulence nothing here was marred by time, she could sense that.

"This is where you will be staying, my rooms are just beyond that door should you need anything, you, of course, have free roam of the kitchen and sitting room." With that stiff announcement Haldir left the room. Vanwamin was left standing in the room utterly disconcerted. Looking around she found a pair of jeans and a thin cotton t-shirt. With reverence she picked them up and bunched them to her face. They smelled clean and fresh, felt cool and new, felt … right. Without hesitation she shed the gossamer gown Marrowyn had given her and pulled on the well fitting jeans followed by the t-shirt. It seemed like coming home almost. She knew what these things were, their names and what they were made of, so why couldn't she remember anything about herself?

Too delighted with the feel of her clothes she pushed the morbid thoughts away and moved to the other side of the room. Through the sheer drapes she saw the wilder outer limits of the city. More trees grew, song birds roosted, and a dense blanket of leaves threatened to choke the bases of the great trees. And it was peaceful, only the gentle hum of a northern breeze and an occasional serenade from a bird disturbed the picture. Vanwamin lost herself to the simpleness of it for a moment before deciding to explore the rest of the flet. Carefully she crept from her room to the larger common area. She didn't wish to disturb Haldir in anyway and of course in wishing not to she ultimately would. In the first few minutes she managed to drop several wooden bowl and knock over a standing display of gleaming armor. The latter of which brought Haldir from his room, a feral look about him.

Vanwamin was busy trying to collect a spilled quiver of arrows and did not notice the irritated elf behind her.

"What are you doing?" he growled pinching the bridge of his nose. This caused Vanwamin to jump violently spilling the arrows all over again.

"Awe, jeeze, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, ugh." With a pitiful sound she plopped down on her butt and crossed her legs, shoving arrows back into the quiver. Haldir shook his head and righted the armor then snatched the quiver from Vanwamin's hand.

"If you keep flinging them into the quiver like that you will ruin them. Get up." He held his hand out and noticed for the first time that she was dressed in the same strange garb she had been found in. They were form fitting and highly inappropriate, yet he felt they suited her better than the heavy dresses. When she took his hand to get to her feet he felt that intense serenity again, nothing seemed to matter except being in her presence.

"Um... Can I have my hand back?" Vanwamin said awkwardly trying to extract her smaller hand from Haldir's.

"Aye," was all that Haldir could say before hastily releasing her hand and taking a step back.

"I'm sorry," they said in unison.

"I'll just... go..." Vanwamin said a deep blush creeping up her cheeks. She turned and headed for her room at the same time Haldir started for his. They collided mid-stride knocking each other off balance. Vanwamin grabbed a hold of Haldir's arm to keep upright and he had wrapped his arm around her waist. They both turned crimson and Vanwamin pulled herself away again, straightening her shirt.

"Right, lets try this again," She said keeping her eyes on the floor. She took a long stride to get in front of Haldir then half ran to her room.

Haldir stood there dazed for a moment before retiring to his own room. He felt that this was the start of a very strange relationship.


	7. Blue Birds Do Fly

First off I wan't to give a HUGE thanks to **springbrume**, **safa56bmc, lilo, Patriot16, Lady Minuialwen, Australia, happyazngirl, summersidefolly, Emzy2k11, amaris12345, Haldirsbaby **and everyone who faved and alerted this story. You guys are amazing!

Secondly I would like to formally apologize for not updating sooner. I have been without internet access for several reasons, some of them less pleasant than others. However I am back and barring another ruptured disc, I will try and update somewhat frequently.

This chapter is not what I would call my best, its strung out, the characters are flat and I'm scatter brained, but I did what I could under the circumstanced. If you can find it in you to read all of it and not run away screaming I will reward you with cookies!

* * *

The next few weeks were not spent in the same contrite resentment and awkwardness as the first day. Haldir spent the majority of his time secluded away in his rooms but when he did venture out he found any reason he could to be near Vanwamin for the chance to touch her. He was slowly becoming addicted to the tranquility and peace of mind she brought to him.

Vanwamin was steadily becoming more comfortable in Haldir's presence, daring to jibe him teasingly and strike back at his racism. She had settled into a routine of walking every morning. At first Haldir would come and bring her back if she got too far away but finally she was able to tell where the boundaries were. Then she would tidy the kitchen, the common area, and her room. By the time she was done it would be early afternoon and Haldir would venture from his rooms. She would make him a light lunch, usually apples, cheese, and bread. They would eat in silence then Haldir would disappear again. Day after day they went through this routine.

Occasionally Rumil or Orophin would break their tediousness much to the delight of Vanwamin. Though she much preferred the company of Rumil to Orophin. It seemed Orophin held a peculiar dislike of her. For the life of her she couldn't figure out why.

* * *

The day was warm and Vanwamin decided to skip her usual jaunt around the tree, she was having an "off" day as she liked to put it. Every so often she would wake with the mist of a memory in her mind, a song or a nursery rhyme that echoed from a dream. This morning it had been the song "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". A small child was singing it, out of tune and the with the wrong words, but it brought a great depression to her. Everything was duller than it had been before, all she could concentrate on was the bird song voice and its haunting lullaby.

She was becoming frustrated with herself for not remembering the child who possessed the happy voice. The more she thought about it, the less she could remember and with every fleeting moment a pressure built in her head. Finally she could not hold back her emotions anymore and she buried her face in one of the soft feather pillows and cried away the frustration.

In her melancholy mood she did not venture from her room and as the day wore on Haldir became concerned for her. Quietly he knocked on her door and received no response. Carefully he opened it to find her sitting in a rocking chair staring at the open blue sky. Her brown eyes were glassy and despondent. Holding his breath for reasons unknown, he crept across the room and laid a hand on her shoulder. Cursing like a sailor she jumped and grabbed Haldir's hand, intent on finding a way to throw him over the balcony. All she accomplished though was bruising her own elbow.

"Damn elf, I ought to put bells on your shoes, maybe then I could hear you." She muttered nursing her elbow. "What are you doing in here anyways?"

"I was concerned that you had not come to pester yet today," Haldir said watching her carefully. She was wearing a gray tunic with her strange blue leggins on under it, her dark hair was unkempt, and her eyes were slightly puffy. She had been crying. He didn't understand the sudden pang that ran threw him at the sight, nor did he pay heed to the need to comfort her.

Vanwamin held back a bitter remark. Her frustrations were not because of Haldir and she didn't wish to take them out on him. Instead she smiled as well as she could and said; "All is well here." She motioned to the space around her. Haldir looked at her sceptically causing her to turn away from him and lean against the railing.

"Have you ever known you've dreamed something but can't remember anything from it?" Vanwamin turned her watery brown eyes on Haldir pleadingly. He nodded. "That's what this is like, I know my past is there, but I can't recall it, no matter how much I try."

They stood in silence for while, Vanwamin gazing absently at the vast expanse of trees around her.

"Come with me," Haldir said abruptly leaving the room. Vanwamin hesitated for a second before following him. Quickly they made their way across the city and to the healing talans. There Haldir found Marrowyn straightening a room.

"Vanwamin!" She said excitedly, ignoring Haldir all together. "I was beginning to think I would never see you again."

"Oh well you know, been really busy," Vanwamin said unable to contain her sarcasm. Marrowyn laughed before noticing Haldir.

"Haldir, good to see you again."

"The same to you Marrowyn, I have a favor to ask."

"A favor?" Marrowyn said, a coy smile spreading over her face. "To what do I owe this particular pleasure?"

Haldir fought the urge to roll his eyes at the young Elleth. "Can you teach Vanwamin to heal others? Without harming herself..." Marrowyn let the question seep into her before answering.

"Haldir, I don't know if I'm a skilled enough healer for that, but maybe my father could help." With that insightful tidbit Marrowyn fled the room leaving Haldir alone with a peeved looking Vanwamin. She was glaring at him, her brown eyes narrowed to slits, her hands on her hips.

"What exactly are you doing?" She asked venomously. She wasn't so angry with the sentiment of it, but because he had not consulted her and she didn't like that, not one bit.

Haldir stepped back not seeing the mistake he made. At his silence Vanwamin dropped her arms and looked at him apathetically. "Its not that I don't understand and appreciate what your trying to do, but I like to be asked my opinion before someone offers me up for something."

Haldir shook his head, a look of bewilderment crossing his usually stoic features. Before an argument could ensue Marowyn returned leading a tall and lithe Elf. Nestarion was one of the greatest healers Lorien had ever seen. His dark hair and slightly sharper features belied his homeland of Rivendel. He was one of the few who had been personally tutored in the art of healing by Lord Elrond himself.

"Mae Govannan Haldir," He spoke with a soft and calming voice that also had an edge of pain to it. Even though he looked like he was in his early thirties Vanwamin could see the years he had lived in his eyes.

"Vanwamin, I am glad to see you are recovering well." He inclined his head in greeting.

"I am." She answered clasping her hands in front of her, feeling very formal.

"My daughter tells me that you wish to improve your healing skills."

"I do," Vanwamin said after sending Haldir a swift glare.

"This is not something that will be easily accomplished, are you sure you are capable?" His green eye reflected something akin to worry. Slowly Vanwamin nodded her head.

"Very well then, I expect you here in the morning, early, Marrowyn will be waiting for you." Nestarion then turned abruptly and left them in silence. Vanwamin felt the cold hard lump of apprehension settle in her stomach and at that moment wanted to hit Haldir very badly.

* * *

Morning had yet to dawn when Vanwamin found herself lying awake, unable to close her eyes any longer. She was nervous and to some extent giddy with the prospect of learning a new skill. Something that would undoubtedly keep her busy. She wanted to get up right then and run to the healing talans like a child on the first day of school, but didn't think Haldir would appreciate that. She had spent the entirety of yesterday in a fidgeting nervous attitude, striking out at Haldir for the most menial things.

Turning over she watched the sun break over the horizon of trees, casting the city in a pale golden light. It was then she knew why they referred to this place as the Golden Wood. Every leaf was ablaze with a yellow shimmer, dancing when the wind played through the branches. It almost made her heart ache at the sight.

Excitedly she went about dressing and doing something with her hair. It was getting long and increasingly difficult to untangle. By the time she was completely ready the sun was in full bloom and she could hear Haldir moving around in the common area. Excitedly she joined him at the table, her leg bouncing nervously.

"Have you lost control of your leg?" Haldir asked quirking and eyebrow.

"Huh? Oh," Vanwamin clutched her knee and smiled with embarrassment. "Sorry."

Marrowyn met them at the base of the healing talans, a peculiar look on her face.

"Whats wrong Wyn?" Asked Vanwamin using the nickname she had picked up.

"Oh nothing, Ada is just up to his usual peculiarities." She said moving up the stairs. "Sometimes I wonder if hes right in the head..." She continued muttering in this fashion the entire way up the stairs. Vanwamin threw a look of confusion over her shoulder and Haldir just shook his head. They climbed to the very top of the talans where only one solid platform hovered among the canopy of the tree. There were no railings, no hangings, only the small bunch of sapling branches growing from the middle of the flet offered support. Sitting in front of the branches was Nestarion, his dark hair was bound up in several intricate braids. He was seemingly meditating. In front of him was a stack of books, books that looked older than Vanwamin. Hanging from a low branch was a wicker cage, if there was anything inside it stayed silent.

"Ada," Marrowyn said with a cross look. Nestarion stayed silent. "Ada! That's enough, you know very well we're here!" Nestarion cracked open his eyes, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Mae Govannan Vanwamin, Haldir," He said not leaving his seated position. "Vanwamin please sit, Haldir you are not needed here, you may go about your business." Haldir inclined his head and left while Vanwamin gracelessly sat across from Nestarion. "Our first order of accord should be to test your abilities. Marrowyn if you would." He gave some sort of foppish gesture which Marrowyn rolled her eyes at as she retrieved the cage.

Nestarion put his hand into the cage and there was a gentle rustling. From its depths he pulled a beautiful red and purple bird. It was like nothing she had ever seen before, its tail was incredibly long for its small body and mottled with gold. Its eyes, an eerie ruby color, seemed to see and understand all.

"This is a Litholani Bird, she was found in the gardens, her wing is broken. Do you think you can fix it?" Nestarion held out his hand, the bird perched calmly on it. Swallowing hard Vanwamin held her hand out for the bird. It shifted nervously before turning its small head and blinking at Vanwamin. Finally it decided that she would not harm it and stepped cautiously onto her hand.

Taking a deep breath Vanwamin nestled the bird to her stomach and held her hand over its injured wing. She concentrated on healing the fractured, hollow bone, closed her eyes, and let her mind visualize the wound. After several minutes of the entire room holding their breath... nothing happened.

"I, I don't understand." Vanwamin said stroking the purring birds back.

"I was afraid something like this may happen," Nestarion said as if he did this every day. "For many, healing is a physical skill, something that is accomplished with bandages, salves, and stitching. If they have the actual ability to heal it often lies dormant, which I think is the case with you."

"But I healed Haldir..." Vanwamin said slowly, confused.

"You did, but it was something urgent, you knew he would die, this bird however will not." Nestarion carefully took the bird back. He held his hand over its wing and muttered a phrase that she couldn't understand. With an audible pop the birds wing took its rightful shape again and it chirruped loudly. Vanwamin bit her lip, understanding the meaning of his words. Disappointment however did not stay at bay. She wanted to learn to heal, not only was it something to keep her busy it was also a way to make herself useful.

"You said it was dormant, that means there's a way for me to be able to do what I did for Haldir all the time." She said enthusiastically. Nestarion nodded and got to his feet.

"It is rare for humans to possess magic of any kind, if you can use it, you will. That is why Eru ceased granting that particular gift." He lifted the bird on his hand. It stretched its ill used wings and started to soar. Vanwamin was lost for a minute in the beauty of its flight, the sun glinting crimson off its wings.

"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should," She said finally. "I understand."

"Then you are ready to begin your studies." Nestarion took his seat and handed Vanwamin a large book. "Its been translated into westron, there will be some words that are unfamiliar to you, if you need help I am sure my daughter will be more than willing." Marrowyn nodded eagerly.

"Thank you," Vanwamin said weighing the book in her hands.

* * *

They next few days were spent in silent study. Vanwamin rarely left her room and when she did it was to question a word or theory. She was to return to Nestarion the following week and she wanted nothing more than to be able to answer any questions he may throw at her. Haldir had been extraordinarily helpful to her. He would sit with her for hours explaining a foreign word to her or arguing the semantics of a particular passage in the book. She almost started to forget that this wasn't her home, that she didn't belong among these ambivalent creatures, until she started having ghastly dreams.

It was the same dream every night, a child screaming, the squealing of metal on metal and then a resounding boom that woke her without fail. She would wake in a cold sweat, a dark haze surrounding her, tears staining her face. Occasionally the fright of the dream would wake Haldir as well and he would promptly bring her a cup of tea that had some sort of magical sleeping qualities. Whatever it was it would put her to sleep almost immediately.

On this particular night Vanwamin had fallen asleep with the large book in her hands, papers covering the bed, and an oil lamp still burning. Her dreams started stagnate then in a bizarre swirl of color a small child emerged from the darkness. Dressed in winter clothing the little girl was rolling a snowball the size of a basketball across a lawn. She looked up her sapphire eyes gleaming in contrast with her rosy checks. She yelled something that was muted and then suddenly she was gone. Panic washed over Vanwamin as the white snow turned crimson all around and she began to fall.

The room around her swam in varying shades of gray and black torturing her already confused consciousness. The child from her dreams haunted the edges of her memories like an opaque ghost, nameless and silent. Her name and relation stuck in the back of her mind struggling to beat down that discriminate invisible wall. She must have been yelling again for she heard Haldir's deliberate steps outside of her door. That was the one thing he had improved for her benefit, he would walk loudly like a human as to not startle her when he approached.

The door to the room eased open and Haldir stood there holding a steaming cup of tea. The lamplight bathed him in a strange blue hue sharpening his features.

"You don't have to do this every night Haldir," Vanwamin said tentatively reaching for the cup.

"Its not done for you," He said sitting next to her on the bed. "I do it to save my ears." Vanwamin slapped him on the arm before taking a large swig of the brew.

"Your mean," She stated yawning. "Why can't I just drink this before bed? It would save us both a lot of trouble." Before she could lean back into her pillows she had fallen asleep.

"Because," Haldir answered the empty night. "Then I would have no excuse to watch you sleep." He didn't know when it had happened but at some point his arrogance had slipped away and was replaced with fascination for this human and her will. She was greedy but not for treasures or power, rather knowledge. She was ignorant; to others flaws. She was selfish with her anger and giving with her praise. That's not to say you couldn't get her riled up on occasion. Haldir had found what buttons to push in that respect and some part of him delighted in watching her cheeks stain crimson as she slammed doors. She was flawed and because of her flaws she was perfect.


	8. Beyond The Rainbow

**Thank you very much, Lady Minuialwen, arab57g, amaris12345, Emzy2k11 and the new Faves! Remember ladies and gents, Reviews make me write faster, they encourage all writers not just me! **

**This chapter is a fave of mine so far. I rarely write fluff, if thats what you want to call it, but I enjoyed this a lot. Hope you do too! **

* * *

When Vanwamin woke she recalled a very strange dream that had involved Haldir developing a severe stalking habit. Laughing at her own subconscious she dressed for the day and proceeded to pour over her books. She ventured out of her room around noon her stomach growling in protest. Haldir had set out a platter of bread and cheese but was no where to be found. Shrugging off his absence she made herself a dry cheese sandwich and went back to her room. When she bit into the sandwich her senses were assaulted by the memory of eating the same meal with the little girl from her dreams, they were in a park and both laughing at a little bird that was stealing crumbs.

As fast as the vision had come it went and she was stuck by a sudden feeling of loss. She tried to remember something more from that day, of the little girl, but nothing would revile itself to her. Angerly she threw the sandwich off the balcony where it soundly bounced off Orophins shoulder.

He picked up the offending meal and looked it over. It did not seem to be rancid so he wondered why it was rejected.

"I was not aware it was suppose to rain bread and cheese today," He called up to the balcony. Soon Vanwamin was leaning over the railing, her face bright red.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Orophin, I didn't know you were in my line of fire." she said sheepishly.

"May I inquire as to why you were using sandwich's as ammunition?" He asked returning the sandwich to its final resting place.

"Its probably best if I keep that to myself."

"Very well, my brother is available I assume?" He asked in his usual pompous manner.

"As far as I know," Vanwamin said shrugging. Orophin nodded and continued his way to the talan.

Vanwamin had gone back to her books listening to Haldir and Orophins melodic voices speaking elvish. She didn't have a clue what they were saying but she could tell the conversation was turning heated.

"We need you at the boarders brother," Orophin insisted his hansom face drawn in frustration.

"And what would we do with the human?" He asked icely. "We cannot be more than a kilometer apart, are we suppose to bring her to the boarders with us?" Orophin gave him a peevish look. "Absolutely not, I would not risk her life in such a manner, weather she is human or not."

"Someone will have to replace you as Machwarden then," Orophin said finitely. Haldir knew it would not be just someone, he would have to choose between Orophin and Caldraen, either of the elves would lead their battalion fearlessly, but Haldir knew Caldraen had a clearer head than Orophin in any situation. The decision would be a merciless blow to Orophin but he was not willing to risk the livelihood of Lorien to spare his brothers feelings.

"Then it will be Caldraen," Haldir said bowing his head. Orophin stood completely still for the longest time, his face nothing but stoicism. Finally he cleared his throat and said his good bye. Haldir knew that it would be a long while before Orophin spoke to him without resentment, or even at all. Needing to forget his worry of Orophin he sought out Vanwamin.

She of course was intently reading and jumped when he announced himself.

"Oh good, I've been trying to figure out this word for the last hour, any chance you could help?" She asked grinning. Haldir pulled the chair from the balcony and took the book into his hands.

"Which word?" He asked. She leaned over the book and pointed to the word her hair brushing the pages. "Braeon, it means steadfast, someone or something infallible."

"Okay, that makes a little more sense now, Thank you." She said taking the book back. She continued to read, only to be distracted by Haldir staring at her intently. She would glance up just to make sure she wasn't being vain and sure enough he would be staring at her. After reading the same paragraph for the hundredth time she sighed in aggravation and stared back at him.

They stayed staring at each other for more time than Vanwamin felt comfortable with and she finally looked away.

"Is there something wrong?" She asked playing with the hem of her dress.

"Yes," He said not looking away from her.

"And that would be?" She asked when he didn't elaborate.

"I have been replaced as Marchwarden," He said skirting around his true source of aggravation.

"I-I'm sorry," Vanwamin's face lost all color. He had not said the words she dreaded, but she knew they were true. 'because of you.' She didn't know what to say to console him, she wasn't even sure what 'Marchwarden' meant. Haldir just continued to stare at her, studying her reaction. He couldn't help but feel some satisfaction from her remorse but at the same time he almost couldn't stand to see her in such distress. "What, what exactly does that mean? I get that is was obviously your job, but what was it?"

"I am the Captian of the lorien guard, I protect the cities boundaries. There are Wardens and a Marchwarden who have control over small boarder patrols. While I am unable to go to the boarders because of our... connection, Warden Caldraen shall take my place." He said in a calm factual tone.

"So I've managed to take down the elvish equivalent of Stonewall without trying, brilliant." She said putting her head in her hands.

"Stonewall?" Haldir asked not picking up the reference.

"Ah, he was a human General, they nicknamed him Stonewall because his defenses were like trying to break through a stone wall." She said proud she could at least remember elementary history. Haldir nodded, seemingly happy with being compared to someone like Stonewall.

"I think a change of scenery would do us both some good," He said getting up from the chair.

"Last time you told me we were going somewhere I ended up sitting in a tree with a very strange elf."

"Rumil was there?" He asked with a serious face. Vanwamin scoffed and threw a book at him. He laughed and offered her his hand. "I think the least you could do is accompany me to the training grounds. After all you did "take me down" as you said." Vanwamin couldn't help but laugh at the pompous way he had put her words. He reminded her of a character from a TV show she would watch, she couldn't remember the name of it though. It had involved two brothers who were psychologist and a Jack Russel Terrier named Eddie.

Glad to be away from the monotony of studying Vanwamin followed Haldir to the the training grounds, listening intently to his stories about the months he would spend on the boarders. It was easy to forget their rocky start when the elf was in this kind of mood. Rumil and Orophin were both training when they arrived, Orophin however made a quick exit without much interaction with them, leaving Vanwamin to wonder if she had offended him with her sandwich. Rumil however was eager to show off his fighting skills for Vanwamin, sparing with Haldir.

As Vanwamin watched them mock fighting a small gathering of female elves passed her and she got the distinct impression that they were chatting about herself. They looked at her with distaste as they passed making Vanwamin feel about two inches high. Every bad memory from high school came surging back to her. _Terrific,_ she thought. _I could have done without remembering those years._ She turned her back on the she-elves and concentrated on the fighting. Haldir knocked Rumil's sword from his hand and backed him into a tree, tucking the tip of the sword under Rumil's chin.

"Do you yeild?" He asked. Rumil glanced at the sword then stared Haldir in the eye.

"Only on the grounds of being unarmed." Haldir laughed and dropped the sword.

"What I wouldn't give to return to the boarders Rumil," Haldir said swinging his sword lazily.

"And yet I feel as though if you were given the opportunity you would not leave her," Rumil retrived his sword from the ground. "Orophin told me of your decision. Never would you have made such a choice, she is changing you."

"I'm aware," Haldir said finally after pondering it for a minute. He glanced over to Vanwamin who had found a spot in the shade, she smiled sweetly and waved to the two of them. Her pretty white toothed smile caused Haldir's stomach to drop pleasantly. "I don't understand it Rumil, she is just a human, I should know better, yet she is slowly captivating my mind."

"You should be careful brother, while I enjoy seeing a side of you I have not in ages, humans do not, can not, love as we do, she will soon age and pass to the halls of mandos. I do not wish to see you fade as father did." Rumil said cautiously, studying his brother for a reaction. His face remained stoic and he did not answer his brothers warning. He thought of Luthien and her love of Beren.

"We shall see," He said quietly. "We shall see."

Haldir and Vanwamin took advantage of the day's pleasantness, simply walking about Caras Galadhon. Vanwamin found herself actually enjoying the company of this arrogant elf. Their conversations were light and teasing, it almost seemed natural. When twilight fell Vanwamin marveled at the sea of green and blue lights that illuminated the elven city. She had to keep reminding herself that this was not a dream, I was her reality now, memory or no.

"You look troubled," Haldir said as they walked through a collection of stone figures. Their pale, immortal features forever frozen in pleasant vocations. Vanwamin shook away her dark thoughts and forced a smile.

"What makes you say that?" She asked.

"You always worry your bottom lip when you think too much about something," He said, a curious smile gracing his lips.

"Oh," Vanwamin lifted her hand to her mouth, awkwardness creeping over her. "Its nothing."

Before Haldir could voice his concern a fluttery she-elf slinked her way over to them and embraced him lovingly. Despite his curious brow and faltering conversation the she-elf continued to chatter insensently. Vanwamin caught the cold stare she received from the elf and suddenly recognized her from the training grounds earlier that day. She felt herself shrink and step away from Haldir, finding the ground highly interesting. Some writhed at the pit of her stomach, something akin to jealousy. What in the world was she jealous about? She was bound in no way to Haldir except the strange pain he would feel when she got too far away, she was no one to him, nothing but an imposition. The same held true for her, right? He was just a bump in the road to her recovery, the cause of her ailment. Then why in the world did she feel a possessiveness toward Haldir with this trollop around?

When they finished their conversation the she-elf sashayed away leaving Vanwamin to stew in her conflicting emotions and Haldir in less of a good mood than he had been in. Instinctively he reached for Vanwamin and the comfort their bond afforded him but caught himself, clenching his fists. She wasn't his to find comfort in, he reminded himself, not yet.

"Who was that?" She asked trying to keep everything but curiosity from her voice.

"Anlondna, a friend of Orophins," Haldir said emphatically. The insipid elleth had been cause of more than one headache for him. She had followed him like a wanton feline every time he and his brothers had returned from the boarders. She didn't take the term 'no' to heart.

"She seemed … nice," Vanwamin said searching the skies for an unknown subject.

"Persistent," Haldir muttered. Thankfully Vanwamin didn't seem to hear, she kept walking worrying her bottom lip again. Something he found irritatingly enticing.

"I should be getting back," She said turning around, her brown eyes misted with distrust and something like confusion. "I have to meet Nestarion in the morning." Haldir nodded his approval and they walked back to his talan in a somewhat uncomfortable silence.

* * *

"Its useless!" Vanwamin said shoving the books away from her. The lesson with Nestarion had gone less than perfectly and she was now trying to muddle through a poorly translated book. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't pull that magic from her core. It wasn't possible.

"Your thinking too hard again," Marrowyn said shielding her eyes from the bright sun. They had taken refuge on the balcony of Haldir's talan, the day too beautiful to waste. Vanwamin was sitting on the floor of the deck, books and papers scattered around her, Marrowyn was sitting in a wooden chair, her legs tucked under her.

"No, I'm loosing my mind," Vanwamin muttered dropping her head into her hands. "This isn't going to work, Marrowyn."

"Only because you not opening your mind," Marroyn said sliding to the floor. "Close your eyes." Vanwamin raised a skeptical brow but did not argue. "Now visualize something that brings you peace and happiness." Still unsure of herself Vanwamin let her mind think of pleasant thing, of the early mornings when everything was still and undisturbed, of the sweet laughter she heard in her dreams, and of cool grass on her feet. While she relaxed her mind took a turn in a direction she didn't even know existed and the image of Haldir flashed before her. Her eyes snapped open and her cheeks flamed red.

"Whats wrong?" Asked Marrowyn her face contorted in concern.

"I-er, nothing. Just lost concentration." Vanwamin said shaking her head. "Em, maybe we should pack it in for the day."

"Perhaps your right," Marrowyn said in an exasperated way.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Vanwamin asked. "Its not anything fancy, stew and bread, but it would be nice to dine with someone other than Haldir for once." Marrowyn laughed and politely declined the invitation.

With little else to do Vanwamin found herself obsessively thinking about her lack of memory. Trying her damnedest to remember something. Anything. It was the same old song and dance though. She couldn't stand the pressure that was building in her head from thinking to hard. It was causing a headache.

By the time she and Haldir had sat down for another awkward dinner she was in an extreamly irritable mood. The sloshing of the stew into the bowls nearly killed her, without eating so much as a bite she excused herself and stormed to her room. Haldir raised an eyebrow at her peculiar behavior but did not question it.

In attempt to distract herself Vanwamin picked up a book and started reading it. When that didn't work she dressed herself for bed and tried to sleep, that only made things worse. She would drift in and out of dreams some that made of the things they all had, others treading into territory she wasn't ready to analyze or even think about. Finally she couldn't take it any longer and she had to move, get away from the talan and everything she was used to.

The black night sky pressed down on Vanwamin as she ran from the flet and into the forest. She couldn't sit still any longer, her entire begin was shaking and tears bit viciously at the backs of her eyes. The cold night air drenched her lungs piercing the tender flesh like shards of glass. Her heavy uncoordinated foot falls echoed in her own ears carrying her from the forest and into a glade heavily burdened with mature Elenor and Niphrodel. She stumbled into the far reaches of the glade and collapsed to her knees. Her head throbbed with the effort to remember something in full. Images blurred and swam in and out of focus, but nothing would stay still. She couldn't handle it.

She jumped at the deliberate cracking of twigs to her left, from the shadows of the forest stepped Haldir, bootless and sleep worn.

"I'm beginning to wonder if we were not better off with you bed ridden," He said kneeling down and gathering her into his arms. Vanwamin shook her head furiously and tried to push him away. Shushing her Haldir held her tighter, this only made Vanwamin burst into tears. She gasped for her breath while she clutched to Haldir's tunic tears freely staining it.

"I-I can't remember anything," She bawled pressing her palms into her eyes. "It's driving me insane, I'm losing what I could remember, its slipping farther away. I can't do this, I just want to go home."

"Hush," Haldir smoothed her hair away from her face and gently rocked them back and forth. "Your memories allude you because you chase them. Let them come to you."

"I don't know how to do that," with her sobbing subsiding Vanwamin wiped her tears on the back of her hand and looked up at Haldir. "I don't know how to find myself."

"Its not an easy task," he said leaning back and pulling her close to him. She did not fight him this time. "You have to move forward with your life. Forget that you cannot remember."

"Forget that I can't remember? That's a little ironic isnt it?" She turned her doe brown eyes upward again scrutinizing him. "You make it sound so simple, like walking out a door."

"That is not my intention."

"I know," Vanwamin said as she pushed herself up so she was sitting next to Haldir. "There is something calming about this place, my home was not this quite, not this... undisturbed."

"The cities of men are often cankerous in this way."

"I almost think I should take that as an insult," she laughed.

"Do indeed, you consider much of what I say an insult."

"That's because usually it is!" In one silent movement Haldir had her pinned to the ground, the porcelain Niphrodel crushed beneath her. He stared at her with intense blue orbs causing her to turn her eyes away.

"Is it an insult when I say your eyes are beautiful?" He asked sinking his hands into her hair to keep her from moving her head. "Or that you smell like honey and green grass?" He nuzzled her cheek inhaling softly. Tenderly he ran the tip of his finger down the outside of her round ear. Vanwamin shivered slightly and looked up at Haldir with doubt in her eyes.

"Haldir-" She started but he hushed her again.

"Don't question me." Even though it was a command that usually would have irked Vanwamin, she obeyed. For the longest time they simply laid in the cool grass, their foreheads touching.

Haldir was lost in the serenity of the wholeness he felt. Basking in the warmth he knew wouldn't last. Carefully he moved so that he was leaned against the warm bark of a tree and drew Vanwamin into his arms. She didn't protest, just laid her head against his chest. They stayed like this for a long while, until Vanwamin's breath steadied and she fell into a quiet slumber.

Haldir didn't want to move, he didn't want to leave his sanctuary, nothing was as important as having Vanwamin in his arms. Not even the loss of his position as Marchwarden, nothing.


	9. Why, Oh, Why Can't I?

**Thank you very much, happyazngirl(Thank you for the corrections I'm in search of a Beta, I swear.), Wondering Soul, quaff, Lady Minuialwen, arab57g, amaris12345, Emzy2k11 and the new Faves! Remember ladies and gents, Reviews make me write faster, they encourage all writers not just me!**

**An extra special thank you to Lady Minuialwen who has reviewed every chapter! In your honor I will do something special, as soon as I think of it! **

**Another special thanks to ****Amaris12345, Emzy2k11, and happyazngirl who have also been faithful readers, you will also be honored. If anyone has a suggestion let me know cause I really don't know what to do! :P**

**So the creativity bug has bitten my behind pretty bad lately, sadly that means this fic has been neglected. I'm so sorry, I hope everyone will hang in there though and keep R&Ring. In other news this chapter is a bit rocky and almost sets the audience up to hate Vawamin a little but I think that this is necessary for the future. **

**Okay obnoxiously long AN over, commence reading! **

* * *

Vanwamin woke with dry eyes and a throbbing in her head. Everything swam in a surreal coppery light making her sick to her stomach. She rolled over and pulled one of the down pillows over her head. Without warning memories of the night before flew to the front of her mind causing her to bolt up right, her dark hair flying around her.

"Oh... fudge," She moaned shaking her head falling back into her pillows. She wanted to cry, to laugh, and to scream all at once. She wasn't ready for this, she didn't know she wanted a relationship, in a strange place, with someone she didn't know. Pushing the thoughts away she opened her eyes and sought the morning. She was to meet Marrowyn to continue translating that vexing book. Dressed and ready she waited impatiently in the kitchen for Haldir. It was unusual for him to sleep so late.

Carefully she crept up to his door and knocked as loud as she dared, she needed to leave but dreaded waking him. He didn't answer. Slowly she opened the door found him staring at the ceiling, his grey eyes glassy and unblinking.

_Great, _she thought entering the room entirely. _He's dead._ With hesitant steps she drew closer to Haldir, waving her hand in a silly manner. Still he didn't move. Relief washed over her when she realized that he was still breathing. _Okay not dead, peculiar sleeping habits. _Resisting the childish urge to jump on the bed and yell until he awoke she stooped over him intending to shake him awake. Instead she became utterly transfixed by the tip of his ear which was exposed. Holding her breath she ran her fingers from the tip of his pointed ear to his jaw. Intending to withdraw her hand she hesitated an instant to long. Haldirs eyes fluttered closed and his hand came to restrain hers. With a gentle smile he leaned his head into her hand so it was trapped between the pillow and his face.

"'Quel amrun, melamin," he muttered into her wrist. Clenching her jaw against the violent waves of discourse that ran though her, she pulled her hand away and straightened up.

"I have to leave, I didn't want to wake you up, but I have to leave," her voice was oddly hallow, resounding in her own ears as she shut down emotionally. No trace of feeling was on her face and it startled Haldir. She was normal an open book, but now it was like trying to read a passive statue. Without further explanation she turned around and took leave of the room.

She did not wait for Haldir to join her but simply made for the healing talans. Once again they would be perched in the tallest flet above the city, taking advantage of Nestarion's absence. When she found Marrowyn she had managed to work herself into a tizzy, she chewed nervously at her nails and paced.

"Pray tell, what bothers you so?" Asked Marroywn looking up from her book.

"Haldir," She said teetering dangerously close to the edge of the flet.

"Tua amin," She muttered under her breath. "What has he done now?"

"I... I'm not sure," Vanwamin said turning to face Marroywn, the sleeve of her day dress twisted between her fingers.

"You're not sure?" Marrowyn asked slowly.

"No, I'm not sure that hes truly done anything, its just, I don't want... I don't need this..." In a huff Vanwamin sat down, and put her head in her hands. Her head hurt and she felt like crying again, desperately she wished her tears had an off switch. Marrowyn came to the woman's side and pulled her into a hug.

"I cannot properly impart on you my vast knowledge if you do not tell me what happened." She said softly. Vanwamin choked on a laugh at the she-elf's impromptu humor. Deciding that speaking of her fears with Marrowyn would help, she began to tell her of the previous nights occurrences and those of just a few minutes ago.

Marrowyn was a mask of indifference, she reacted in no way during the retelling nor after. As Vanwamin finished her talking, her face a ruddy shade of crimson, Marrowyn began to laugh. Vanwamin looked up alarmed by her friends sudden out burst.

"Whats so funny?" She asked somewhat insulted.

"You are," She giggled her ears turning red from the effort of laughing. "I've never seen a being more clueless to their own feelings. Besides Haldir of course, he always ignores his feelings, not this time though, no."

"Your rambling worse than I do," Vanwamin huffed.

"Do you wish for my advice friend?" Marrowyn sobered slightly, a fond smile on her face.

"Yes," Vanwamin said.

"You may not be as in love with Haldir as he is with you, however I think with time you will begin to realize your feelings just as well as I can see them." Marrowyn smiled again and pushed a book towards Vanwamin. "We should continue your studies."

"Wait just a minute," Vanwamin said raising her eyebrows. "You give me some cryptic wordplay about realizing my feelings and expect me to accept that? No its not acceptable!"

"Pardon me?" Marrowyn said taken aback.

"I don't need to find my feelings what I need is to find is my memory, I don't even know if I'm unattached! Maybe I'm married!" The thought struck Vanwamin like a brick wall, was she married? She glanced down at her bare hands, there was faint tan line around her ring finger... No she couldn't be she would remember if she had a husband for Pete's sake! Wouldn't she? She felt her head throb as a dreadful weight settled in her chest. This doubt and confusion had to stop. She picked herself up off the floor and ran from the talan, she needed to find Haldir and set things straight.

"Vanwamin!" Marrowyn called after her, but she was already half way down the tree.

Vanwamin found Haldir in what she considered to be a mess hall of sorts in a deep conversation with his brothers. All three sets of light brows were furrowed as they spoke quietly in elvish. Vanwamin hesitated a moment before sweeping into the room and grabbing Haldir's shirt sleeve. She had every intention of hauling him away from his brothers but he was not so quick to move. He caught her as she stumbled backwards and set her next to him.

"What on earth are you doing?" He asked quietly as his brothers looked down on her in amusement.

"Nothing," She said trying to get up. He pulled her down again and cast a wistful glance around the room.

"Your nothing seems to be a lot of something and public is not the place to air it." He said in a low growling tone. The deep tone sent a spark though her that she was not expecting and she pulled her hands away from his.

"We need to talk," She said getting up and stalking out of the hall.

"What have you done?" Asked Rumil, a humor lighting his eyes.

"Eru knows," Haldir muttered standing and unwilling taking chase of his human. His human. He liked that thought.

Vanwamin was standing near an ornate fountain chewing on the side of the thumb, her dark hair was loose and curled becomingly around her shoulders, several inches longer than when he had first saw her. He remembered too well the animosity he held for her, the hate of his attachment, and his frustration because she was just a human. How foolish he had been, how ignorant and selfish, how human.

He reached out to touch her shoulder and she turned on him like a feral cat, her eyes wide with anger and fright.

"What is it?" He asked withdrawing from her. She looked at the ground and worried her lip, played with the hem of her gown and paced for several minutes before facing him.

"I don't love you," She said in a quick jumble of words. They spilled so quickly from her lips that he almost missed what she had said. However he didn't, he heard every word with unparalleled clarity.

Vanwamin cringed at the way Haldir's face fell. She didn't mean to hurt him.

"I can't imagine why I expected you to," He said. This was the human he had expected all along, the one his brother had warned him about.

"I'm sorry," She whimpered her eyes glassing over.

"Don't apologize insincerely, its unbecoming," He said as he stalked away. Vanwamin felt cold and inconsolable.

"Haldir wait!" She called reaching out to him. He paused briefly before continuing away from her. "Listen to me!" She said as she caught up to his long strides. "That doesn't mean I don't want to be your friend, were still kind of stuck with each other after all."

"Vanwamin, if you value any relationship we might have, please let me suffer my ignorance in silence... and alone." His voice was shallow and strained telling just how much she had hurt him.

"Fine," She said falling back and watching him walk away.

* * *

If she didn't know better Vanwamin would think Haldir was avoiding her, he would wake before dawn and return only when she had gone to bed, throughout the day she would never see him despite knowing that he couldn't be too far away. She felt horrible about hurting him at first but as the days passed that feeling turned into resentment and anger. Thankfully it was keeping her mind off her usual worries. Though she didn't think her new ones were much better.

Unfortunately it wasn't just Haldir who was avoiding her, Marrowyn had criticized her for her rash actions and Rumil wouldn't even speak to her. Some part of her felt that everyone's reaction to this was rather sever.

"Though who can blame them," She said to herself as she watched pretty little blue birds flit from branch to branch singing sweet melodies. She sat beside the stone fountain finding solstice in the waters melancholy spattering.

"Never have I seen quite so angry a shade of self pity." Vanwamin looked up to find Orophin striding towards her, a smug smirk playing on his narrow face.

"Come to berate me too?" She asked looking back to the birds.

"No, I've come to offer you some advice," He said sitting next to her on the stone bench.

"Advice?" She question her eyebrows raising.

"Yes, and to start with; quite your lips and listen to what I have to say."

"Fine," Vanwamin agreed slightly bereft.

"Firstly you need to understand why its seems like your friends have abandon you, for I know that is how you feel. I would assume that no one has explained to you the inner workings of the elvish soul." He paused and watched her expression turn curious. "I though not, you see elves are like swans, we find happiness in one being for all of eternity, we do not waiver in our love like you humans, we forever stay true with our... hmmm... soul mate I think is what you would call it." Vanwamin let the information seep into her head.

"Then it was probably for the best that I told Haldir now, rather than later," She said with conviction.

"You don't think you love Haldir?"

"No, I know I don't," her voice grew stronger as panic pushed anger and a need to flee to the surface.

"Another thing about elves is that we can see a much clearer path through human emotions that they can, deep inside you harbor affection for my brother, I can see it, Marrowyn can see it, Haldir can see but he chooses not to."

"Affection yes, but love? Orophin what if I'm already married, I can't remember anything, what if someday I wake up and realize that I have a husband and family?" She said clutching the edge of the bench. "I've already hurt him enough, I don't want to hurt me too." Orophin seemed to be considering the possibility of her being married.

"Do you know how long you have been here Vanwamin?" She shook her head. "Nearly two months." That shocked her, it seemed like so much longer. "It is possible that someone is out there looking for you, but Vanwamin you do not even bare a ring, I find it very doubtful."

"Do you have a point Orophin?" She asked briskly, her feathers slightly ruffled.

"Yes, and it is this: open your heart to him, even if it hurts you a little, everyone will be happier for it, even you." He gave her a grim smile and walked away.

Vanwamin stared intently at Orophin's back as he walked away. That was not the kind of advice she was looking for. Hell, she hadn't even been looking for advice. And for Orophin of all people to give it to her. She looked down at her hand again and traced the spot where a wedding band would be. He was right, that was a nonsensical fear. She would remember a husband and family. There was no question in that, none. She wouldn't allow herself to believe that she couldn't remember the people who would be closest to her.

* * *

Vanwamin found herself searching for Haldir, she had to talk to him, make him understand her point of view as well. She had searched everywhere she could think of except the dinning hall. Steeling herself, she turned the corner and stopped dead. Sitting in the far corner with his brothers was Haldir and seated next him, fawning in every possible way was Anlondna. Something short of jealousy slammed violently in her chest and took her breath away. She turned on her heal and in doing so tipped over a large vase that was perched on a pedestal, it crashed to the ground an instant before she fled, feeling foolish for wanting to make amends with Haldir.

"Such blundering creatures, humans." Anlondna said as the vase came crashing to the floor. Haldir watched Vanwamin disappear around the corner and wondered for a brief moment what she was doing. Then he realized what she had seen; Anlondna being her usual vapid self. She had not noticed the slightly humorous looks of incredulous ire on Rumil's and Orophin's faces, nor his own dispassionate response to the vacuous she elf. Rising suddenly he followed Vanwamin away from dining hall and to the other side of the training field. She was sitting on the fence of stable yard looking strangely at home there, even through her dejected appearance. One of the grey elven horses wandered closer to her, stretching its neck out to inspect her. She smiled and laughed lightly as the horse stepped so close its nose was in her face, it snorted and shied away at the unexpected sound.

"Shhh," She hushed reaching her hand out. "I won't hurt you, promise."


	10. I've Lost My Bluebirds

**Thank you very much, Lauren Stargazer, Kat aka SongsOfSpring, Lintered, amaris1234, Lady Minuialwen, and the new Faves! Reviews make me happy! So so Happy! **

**Okay, well I hope you like this chapter, inspiration struck me hard so I worked and worked on it. I am trying to stick with Tolkiens timeline but some things are changed and twisted a little to fit my own plot(imagine that!), but the battle is taken from an account of an attack on the western borders of Lorien dated for March 15. **

**Also I am starting to use a little more Elvish than before, would you guys like a trasnlation or no?**

* * *

Vanwamin nearly came off the fence when she realized Haldir was standing so close to her. She cursed repositioning herself on the fence.

"I didn't mean to startle you," He said quietly leaning against the fence. Stiffly she nodded at him, words failing her. She didn't know what to say to him, she didn't want to say anything. So they stayed in silence for a long time. Neither one looking at the other, neither one saying or doing anything. Finally Vanwamin plucked up enough courage to say something. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said, you scared me, I don't even know who I am and ..." She trailed off knowing that if she said anything more it would be a mistake. He had already forgotten her, Anlonda was more than happy to take her place.

"You should not be the one to apologize," Haldir said emphatically. "I was too forward, I am impatient and when a mood strikes me its unquenchable. I understand that you are unready for a commitment so eternal, but let me try and explain about my kind and our relationships."

"Orophin already did," She said cutting him off. "I think its amazing, humans can't love in that capacity, its impossible... Anlonda seems like a good match for you." Haldir raised an eyebrow at her statement.

"Excuse me?" He said. "Lunacy becomes you, however I fear that it has turned to madness."

"I saw you in the dinning hall, you seemed perfectly amiable towards her."

"No, I am tolerant of her, had I been amiable with her I would have done this." He pulled Vanwamin off the fence and laid upon her lips a soft and gentle kiss. A kiss the sent fire through her veins and clouded her senses, all she could do was cling his tunic and reciprocate the gesture.

"Please tell me your not the kind of amiable you are with your brothers..." She managed as they pulled away from each other.

"Eru no, they aren't that lucky." He said smiling. That true, effortless smile sent Vanwamins heart into palpitations. It felt right to be wrapped in his arms, but something tugged at the back of her mind, something like guilt and betrayal. Her eyes turned cold and she pulled away from him, fear marring her features.

"Don't you dare," Haldir said grabbing her wrist before she could run away again. "Why do you keep running from me?"

"I'm afraid," She said pulling her arm away. "I'm so afraid that I'm making a mistake, that I'm going to be betraying someone. I don't want to hurt anyone Haldir." She crossed her arms over her stomach and turn towards the paddock. Haldir knew her fears were legitimate but all he could think of was having her in his arms again.

"You do not have a ring," He said picking her left hand up. It was delicate and soft in his own battle worn one. "Its human custom to wear one is it not?" She nodded mutely, every part of her wanted give in, but her mind kept reminding her that it was wrong.

"Can't we just be friends," She said squeezing his hand gently. "Please?" Who could deny that sweet pleading look? She stared up at him with big brown eyes, her lip stuck out in a slight pout.

"Of course we can," He said kissing the back of her hand. What she didn't know was that friends often became lovers.

* * *

Vanwamin was still not in the good graces of Rumil, though it had become more of an amusing game where she would beg him to forgive her every time they were in each others presence.

"Please Rumil!" She said as she pouted in good form. "I will wash your clothes for a month!"

"Ha! Temptress! I am not so easily swayed!" Rumil said defiantly. They were sitting with Marrowyn and Haldir in a glade outside of the city. Rumil and Orophin were to leave for the boarders again the next morning and while Orophin chose to spend his day with his wife, Rumil was content to be begged upon.

"I already do that for him," Marrowyn said rolling her eyes. "Though I would not mind if you took up that chore!" Vanwamin smiled at the hominess that she felt, everything felt easy and natural. She and Haldir had gone about their usual routines like nothing had happened between them, or almost. There was something that hovered between the two, electric and unstable, a brush of a hand, accidentally running into each other. Even now as they sat in the grass close enough to touch but not doing so.

"Will you make him forgive me?" She asked hopefully.

"Second party forgiveness is not cordial." Haldir spoke up, a cup of wine in his hand. Vanwamin raised an eyebrow.

"Who asked your opinion?" She said jokingly swatting him on the arm. Rumil and Marrowyn looked at each other knowingly, they knew this dance, they had been perfecting it for years now. Rumil leaned over and took Marrowyns hand in his and whispered something in her ear. Marrowyn nodded and smiled.

"There is something we should tell you," She said playing nervously with a napkin.

"What is it?" Asked Vanwamin a shade of worry falling over her face.

"We are betrothed," said Rumil happily. Vanwamin squealed girlishly and embraced Marrowyn.

"Congratulations!"

"Happy day brother," Haldir said bracing arms with Rumil. He then leaned over and kissed Marrowyn on the top of her head. "And to you thel tithen."

"Does Orophin know?" Haldir asked pouring the four of them another cup of wine.

"We told him this morning," Marrowyn said sweetly.

"And the rings?"

"We shall exchange them tomorrow before I leave." Haldir nodded in understanding. Though it was custom for the couple to exchange their rings in front of their families it was troubled times and exceptions were to be made.

While Vanwamin and Marrowyn twittered about the upcoming nuptials and took care of the picnic Rumil and Haldir spoke quietly about darker things.

"What boarder will be you patrolling?" Asked Haldir.

"The western one, Orophin as well, a threat looms there, the creatures of Moria grow restless." Rumil said sullenly. "Lord Celeborn had doubled the forces there per the request of Lady Galadriel. I do not need her foresight to know that this will end in ruin."

"But for whom?" Asked Haldir. An accomplished warrior it was unusual for him to be gone form the boarders this long, his hands itched to have a sword in them, twanging against black metal of an orc blade. If he could not defend his boarders he would live vicariously through Rumil and Orophin.

* * *

Vanwamin joined Haldir in sending his brothers off, she, Marrowyn, and Sadronniel said their goodbyes knowing that they would not see the brothers for another month. Part of this felt familiar to Vanwamin, a faded memory worn and gray. As they parted ways, Sadronniel and Marrowyn going to the city to collect fabrics, Vanwamin slid her hand into Haldir's, it wasn't wrong to seek comfort with a friend, was it? Startled he looked down at her, she was studying the ground careful not to trip over the stones that lined the path.

"What's bothering you?" She asked quietly as they traveled farther out of the city.

"I did not know anything was," He said nonchalantly. Vanwamin looked up at him an eyebrow raised.

"Are you sure? You've been off today, I know your brother's leaving bothers you... but there is something else."

"Playing observant are we?" He asked with a crooked smile.

"Playing nice is more like it," She laughed.

"If you wish to know the truth, letting my brothers go to arms without me is disconcerting, I was at war before they could walk, I trained them."

"Then you should be proud," Vanwamin said slowing her pace.

"I am, but I am also worried for them, as it happens, we are not as indestructible as we thought," he touched the light scar that ran across Vanwamin's forearm. It should have been his to bear.

"You can't be immortal and indestructible, that just wouldn't be fair," Vanwamin said teasingly. However Haldir did not laugh. "I'm sorry. I should shut up now."

"I have never met anyone quite like you," he laughed giving her hand a squeeze.

"I hope that's a good thing!" She said stopping to look at him.

"Of course it is," He said pulling her along. "What is your opinion of equines?"

"They are sweaty beasts with no particular purpose in life," She said finitely causing him to look at her in question.

"And why were you attempting tame Thorontor?"

"Who?"

"They gray horse in the stable yard," He said impatiently.

"Horse? What does... oh horses! I love horses... I think..." She shrugged her shoulders. "They're pretty." He decided not to question what she thought he meant.

"Fair enough," He said steering her in the direction of the stable yard. In the paddock stood another great gray horse, his long mane shimmering in the sunlight. Haldir let out a low whistle and the horse lifted his head and nickered a greeting. Looking as though he would rather continue eating he slowly meandered over to the fence.

"Oh so thats the trick," Vanwamin said gazing at the beautiful creature, it glowed in its own radiance like the elves.

"His name is Andaer and he is my trusted friend," Haldir said petting the beasts broad forehead. The horse nudged him to the side and stuck out his neck toward Vanwamin. "And now unforgivable traitor..." Gingerly Vanwamin touched his nose, it as soft as velvet and warm, she ran her hand up the horses face and rubbed under his forelock. The horse sighed and lowered his head, content to be lavished by this new person. "I knew I should have given you to Rumil." Haldir muttered sourly. The horse swung his big head around and caught his tunic between his teeth. "Ai! Daro, you foolish horse!" Vanwamin laughed at the horses antics and stepped back.

"So, we've come here to watch you get mauled by your own horse, I like it!" The horse released Haldir and pinned his ears at Vanwamin who stepped back further. "What the heck."

"Andaer is easily offended," Haldir said patting the horses neck.

"Cause he can understand us," Vanwamin said cautiously. The horse bounced his head up and down agreeing with her. "Okay, whats next, he gonna sprout wings?"

"Wings?" Haldir asked opening the gate on the paddock and letting Andaer into the meadow they stood in. The horse immediately began to investigate Vanwamin snuffling her hair and searching the pockets of her dress.

"What is he doing?" Asked Vanwamin unamused as the horse nibbled on her hair.

"He is just being sure your not harboring anything sweet," Laughed Haldir. Vanwamin crossed her arms, trying not to smile as the horse pushed her sideways. "Would you like to go for a ride?" Andaer started at Haldir, disapproval clearly written on his face, he turned around and began walking away.

"Apparently not," Laughed Vanwamin. Haldir spoke in elvish and the horse returned looking akin to a whipped puppy.

"Come." He held his hand out to Vanwamin who looked at him sceptically.

"Aren't we missing something, like, perhaps a saddle."

"We do not use such devices," Haldir spat the phrase in distaste. "Our horses listen to us and we to them, we do not need such things that hinder our pace."

"Right well, little ole human me needs something to keep me from falling off Mr. Eds back cause I don't have the balance of the great elves." She said sarcastically. Haldir ignored her and lifted her on to Andaer back. She didn't have time to object that her dress wasn't fit for riding or that she was terrified of heights, not that it would have mattered. Thankfully the skirts of the dress draped somewhat modestly over the horses back.

"Comfortable?" He asked looking up at her. She glared down and him wishing she had enough grace to slap him from her perch. "Good, now take a handful of mane if your that clumsy." She did as she was told and clung to it for dear life. For Andaer's part he didn't move a muscle. "Now if you want him to go the left push your left heel into his side." He took her leg by the ankle and pressed her foot into Andaers warm flank. His touch sent sparks though her, from her leg to her stomach. When Andaer responded to the cue and moved to the left she squealed in displeasure and wrapped her arms around his neck. Immediately he stopped and turned his head to look at her.

"I'm going to kill you," She muttered pushing herself back into a sitting position. Haldir laughed at the empty threat and moved to her other side.

"Auta, means to go forward," he continued teaching. "And squeeze him with both legs." Vanwamin did so and repeated the phrase and Andaer stepped forward.

"What's stop?" She asked panicked as the horse walked in an exaggerated circle around Haldir.

"Daro," He said. The horse came to an immediate stop.

"Okay, I can work with that," She said patting Andaer neck.

By the time the sun set Vanwamin was loping around the meadow her arms spread open to the heavens laughing. She felt free, like no one could harm her as she moved as part of Andaer, everything was perfect. She moved her seat ever so slightly and the horse came to a stop and walked over to Haldir who was standing in the field a proud smile in place.

"You are a quick learner," He said helping her down from the horses back. Her legs were weak from riding most of the day she had to hold on to Haldir to keep herself from falling over.

"Thank you," She whispered as she turned her strangle hold into a hug.

"Whatever for?" He asked enjoying that strange euphoria that consumed him whenever she touched him.

"For making me feel alive again," she said releasing him and leaning against Andaer.

"Andaer is the one you should thank for that," He said disappointed that she left him.

"Well thank you Andaer," She said hugging the horses neck. The horse nickered and nodded in approval.

"I think we should be getting home," Haldir said walking away from Andaer.

"Um, don't we need to put him away?" Asked Vanwamin.

"He will return when he is needed," Haldir said beckoning for her to join him. She let him take her hand and together they walked back to their talan.

* * *

Vanwamin woke aching and sore but that wasn't what had awoken her, an acrid smell was assaulting her, a smell that drove her from her bed and into the common room of the talan. Fire. Haldir was already there half dressed, struggling to pull on his amour.

"Whats going on?" Vanwamin asked helping him with a vambrace.

"Orcs,"He spat as he slung his quiver over his shoulder. "Stay here, do not leave until I come back for you." Vanwamin didn't dare argue as he raced out the door and down the stairs.

Haldir couldn't go far from the talan but it didn't matter much, he met the small force of Orcs head on, five or six of them had some how slipped past the boarder guards and were heading for the city. This was why he had insisted on living so far away from it, it was a safety precaution. His sword had never felt quite so good in his hands as he sliced through the first orc to meet him, sticky black blood oozed over the hilt of the blade and stained the tunic he wore. Pushing away the first creature he set into two more as well aimed arrows fell the remaining three. Two of the boarder guards dropped from the trees to greet him.

"How did this happen?" He asked furiously kicking aside one of the dead orcs. Useless stinking creatures.

"We were out numbered at the boarder," The smaller of the two guards said weakly. "They must had planned it, they ambushed to the northwest leaving the south unarmed."

"Where is Caldraen, this should not have happened." He asked.

"We are unsure, we separated from the battalion and set after the rouges." Said the other bowing his head.

"With out orders," Haldir said in understanding.

"Yes sir," they said in unison.

"Good men," he said turning away from them and heading back to his talan. He would collect Vanwamin and make his way to the boarder. She was waiting at the door dressed in her strange leggins and a tunic. Her hair pulled up and away from her face. She was efficient if nothing else.

* * *

The smell of fire and blood mingled in the air burning Vanwamin's eyes and nostrils. It was a stench so horrid she was surprised she had not lost her dinner yet. Bodies lay scattered among the trees, eerie in the pale moonlight. The bases of the trees were smoldering and charred, the orcs had tried to burn them. Meters away from the tree line a fire was blazing, tall and ravenous, a thick stinking smoke rising from it.

Haldir helped Vanwamin down from Adaer's back and set off to find his brothers. She stuck close Haldir slightly disturbed by the amount of carnage around her. To her relief she didn't see any elves laying amongst the black masses on the ground.

"Haldir!" Someone called from a tree top. They quickly tread through the battlefield and to the tree where a rope ladder was let down for them. When Vanwamin struggled to get up the flimsy rope Haldir simply reached down and pulled her up making her once again feel oddly frail.

The sight once she was on the flet made her heart stop. Two elves were leaning over another, blood soaked rags piled in one corner. Someone was sobbing quietly, Marrowyn she realized. How had she made it to the borders before them? Forgetting her curiosity she rushed forward and pulled the distraught elf into her arms. Only one person could be the source of her misery, Rumil must have been wounded and by the looks of things badly.

Haldir knelt next to his brothers head as the healers worked feverishly on a gaping wound in his abdomen. Rumil was paler than snow and was muttering nonsensical things under his breath. Whatever blade had caused this had been poisoned. Anger tore through Haldir with a vengeance, he wanted nothing more than to hunt down any orcs that dared remain in Moria and slaughter them. Vanwamin's presence behind him brought him out of his murderous thoughts. She placed a warm hand on his shoulder and knelt beside him. She reached out with her right hand and smoothed Rumils hair away from his face, she knew what would happen if she tried this, but it would be worth it.

She closed her eyes and let herself concentrate on the bleeding gash that ran from his sternum to his bellybutton. Heat assuaged her hand, then her arm, and finally rested in her stomach as she felt the poison of the wound bleed into her. She felt the familiar pain of her wounds reopening and just when everything should have went black she hit the floor hard.

"Are you out of your mind!" Haldir growled picking her up off the floor. Once he realized what she was doing he had tackled her away from his brother.

"No, I'm fine," She said touching her stomach gingerly. Both the healers were looking between Rumil and her with mystified expressions. "Is he okay?"

"Externally he is in good health," Said a healer with sharp features and golden hair. "But internally there is still some damage, he should be moved into the city immediately."

"You idiot!" Marrowyn said suddenly, her face pale as tears streamed down it. "You stupid, stupid human." She pulled Vanwamin up to wrap her in a bear hug causing her world to shift slightly.

"Woah crazy elf lady," she said reaching out to Haldir to steady her. "The stupid human is dizzy." Marrowyn released her and went to Rumil who was slumbering peacefully now.

"Are you positive you are alright?" Haldir asked pulling her into his arms. She was too weak to protest and leaned against his chest willingly.

"Nothing a little sleep wont cure." She said dreamily.

"Thank you."

"I figure I should give back to you what you gave to me, fair trades and all." She yawned into her arm and turned to wrap her arms around Haldir. "As much as I love Rumil, I want to go home now."

"Home?" He asked raising an eyebrow. Surely she had not called the talan home.

"Yep, home, its my home now, here..." In her sleepy state she nuzzled her face against his neck sending fire though his veins. Surely this was some kind of torture.

"If you insist."

* * *

**I'm gonna try something new here and answer my reviews. :O**

**amaris12345- Awe, I know she seems a little... Bellaish, which I hate so much, but like I said, I think its necessary to love her even more at the end. :) And thank you! I am glad you still love it! **

**Lady Minuialwen - Nothing like making him a victim eh? **

**Lintered - Stick around and you might find out. Hehe. :D And thank you for your review! **

**Kat aka SongsOfSpring- Here is your update! Thanks for the review!**

**Lauren Stargazer - Thanks so much for the nice review! Heres an update. **

**Hope you all enjoyed! New update will be SOON**


	11. A Land That I Heard Of

**Thank you very much, Lauren Stargazer, Kat aka SongsOfSpring, Lintered, amaris1234, Lady Minuialwen, Wolveskey, DraggonflyMaiden, Kathyrn-of-Lorien, zebra-scarf, Askarlover, MoonDemon36, and the new Faves! Reviews make me happy! So so Happy! **

**Well, I apologize profusely for the tardiness of this chapter. I also warn that it is short. Please forgive me!**

* * *

Vanwamin and Haldir were sitting with Rumil in the healing talan listening to his heroic tale for the third time that day. How he had cut down dozens of orcs in true elvish fashion, rivaling even the Balrog Slayer himself. While Vanwamin did not know who the Balrog Slayer was she had decided that his tale was far fetched. As they laughed at the appropriate time a knock sounded at the door and a thin young elf dressed in courier attire entered the room.

"Marchwarden, Captian, My Lady," He greeted them each in elvish. "Your presence is requested by the Lady Galadriel, Marchwarden. She says it is urgent." Haldir rose from his seat, confusion creasing his brow.

"Stay," he said to Vanwamin as she moved to get up as well. "I will not be far." Vanwamin glared at his tone of voice.

"Not a dog," She muttered as he left the room.

He returned nearly an hour later looking serious.

"What did the lady have to tell you?" Asked Rumil.

"The Lords of Rivendell and Lady Arwen will be arriving within the month." He said a frown set upon his features. "They will be traveling to Gondor with Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn for the union of Aragorn and Arwen."

"More happy news," Rumil said grinning foolishly.

"Indeed, I am to lead the party to Gondor," He said distractedly.

"How?" Asked Vanwamin and Rumil as one.

"You are to travel with us Vanwamin," He said casting his gaze out the window. "The Lady was animate about that."

"Is that such a good idea?" Asked Vanwamin.

"I should think not," Said Rumil his brow furrowed.

"I do not think it will be such a hindrance. No rogue orcs would be foolish enough to attack a traveling court."

"A valid point."

"So we travel to Gondor then," Haldir said a smile lighting his features. "I am Marchwarden once more."

* * *

Over the next few weeks Vanwamin found herself completely amerced in texts about healing. Nestarion had come to the conclusion that her powers lie in death. That the patient had to be close to dying for Vanwamin to be able to heal them. Considering there were no willing participants to explore this theory, she was now up to her chin in tomes about it.

Haldir had become cold and stoic when ever they were together, but she chalked it up to being macho warrior man again. He loved his work, she realized, it was what made him live. Though he took it entirely too seriously.

The day the Lords of Rivendell and Lady Arwen were to arrive came upon them at an unusually fast rate, Rumil was almost completely healed, though he would not be joining them in Gondor, and events had been set in motion for his and Marrowyn's union. It was settled that it would be a privet affair, a meal with family, the exchanging of rings, and speaking of the great name.

"I do think you should wait until spring," Vanwamin said, the four companions were sitting on the balcony of a city watch tower basking the sun's departure into the western sky.

"I love when the leaves change their color though," Marrowyn insisted.

"Then we shall have it this coming fall," Rumil said finitely. Marrowyn smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

"Doesn't it just make you sick Haldir?" Asked Vanwamin jokingly.

"Undoubtedly so," he answered in ill humor.

"When will you return from Gondor?" Asked Rumil ignoring their jabs.

"Early July," Haldir answered casting a sideways glance at Vanwamin.

"July?" She asked incredulously. "What are we doing, moving in?"

"Vanwamin," Marrowyn said gently. "It not unusual to stay in someone else's home for months if not years here. We all live far away from each other and the time spent together is always far shorter than that spent apart." Vanwamin bowed her head, embarrassed by her outburst.

"I just wish you would have told me we would be gone that long," She said to coldly to Haldir.

"It did not occur to me that it would matter."

"Of course it wouldn't," Vanwamin said crossing her arms.

"Would you two stop your nonsense," Marrowyn said bitterly. "Haldir you are being unfair and crass, Vanwamin your acting like a child! I feel as though I should sit both of you in a corner until you can play nicely." She rounded on Vanwamin fully now, her blue eyes full of malcontent. "He is not going to abandon you just because he has been called back to duty, he cannot abandon you! It is quite impossible!" She turned to Haldir who was mollified. "And you! Just because you have been chosen to lead the court to Gondor does not mean you have to be Godrid The Ice King! We will not look upon you an less the hero you are if you enjoy yourself!"

Three sets of eyes watched Marrowyn warily waiting to see if she would continue on her tirade. Her cheeks were stained red and still held herself in a commanding posture.

"You can stop looking at me like that," She said quietly bowing her head. Everyone looked away muttering apologies and clearing throats.

"I think we've had enough of this," Rumil said taking a decanter of wine from its spot on the floor.

"Indeed," Haldir said standing up. "We should be off, tomorrow dawns early."

* * *

And early it did dawn, too early in Vanwamin's opinion. The birds sang loudly as if they knew of the upcoming events and the sun peeked rosy over the tree tops. It was a beautiful morning.

She and Haldir joined a gathering of elves in a courtyard surrounded by blooming bushes. In the center of the courtyard stood two elves that surpassed all others in beauty and power. She had to assume that they were the Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, the eternal rulers of this land. She shifted from foot to foot, intimidated by the large group of elves that had gathered here. She felt inferior and out of place in her short, cherubic body. She was of average height for a human but she was dwarfed by the elves, they were tall and graceful, some almost lacking in distinguishing features, but lovely all the same.

Vanwamin turned from her admiration of the Lord and Lady when the horns began to blow in the distance. The company from Rivendell approached. They were a dozen strong, beautiful dark haired elves that held a contradiction of arrogant yet kind countenance. Vanwamin wasn't sure if she should gawk in awe or bow in appreciation. Instead she stood mutely focusing on a pair of small birds harassing one another. Words were spoken by silver tongues and a party of six adjourned to the gardens of Galadriel.

Vanwamin had every intention of returning to her room in the talan but then her intentions were always thwarted. Haldir took her by the elbow and they followed the party of six into the fragrant gardens.

Vanwamin found herself not only comfortable but amused in the presence of the Rivendell elves. The son's of Elrond, despite their most serious nature, seemed to have some hidden agenda and a extraordinarily dry sense of humor. Lady Arwen, while sweet, seemed to be more distractable than a young child, though there was reason for it. Lord Elrond himself, who's humor was brittle at best, was the most congenial. She did not spend much time with them however, they were briefly introduced then Haldir spoke quietly to the Lords. They took their leave without much hesitation and returned to their talan.

It seemed like only hours had passed since the Rivendell company had arrived in Lorien not hours. Vanwamin had become comfortable in Lorien and did not wish to leave it behind for so long. Pushing away her qualms she focused on the good this journey would bring. Haldir would feel useful and she would be among humans, maybe some that could tell her who she was.

"You will write," Marrowyn demanded as they stood in the court yard saying their goodbyes.

"I will do my best, I find writing letters tedious and droll," Vanwamin said mocking the seriously arrogant air Haldir and Orophin had about them.

"If I do not receive at least one letter I shall have to come to Gondor myself to be sure Haldir has not lost you to the orcs." Rumil said in too loud a voice necessary. Haldir sneered at his youngest brother.

"Could we please not upset your brother?" Asked Vanwamin glancing over her shoulder. "I'm the one who has to deal with him."

"All the better for me," Rumil said leaving them to harass his brother more.

"Oh that it, he's not getting any souvenirs." Marrowyn raised her eyebrows at the expression. Vanwamin's speech was becoming stranger and stranger.

Saying one last goodbye the small company of elves, and one simple human, set off from the gilded woods of Lorien.

* * *

They traveled half of their journey resting only for short periods, Vanwamin was growing weary and her legs had long become numb. When they finally stopped on the fifth day as the sun broke the horizon, she knew it was entirely because of her. She did not mind much as sleeping on a moving horse was near impossible. Haldir had to help her from Andaer's back and still she stumbled unable to feel her legs.

"How much longer do we have?" She asked sheepishly as he helped her to a flat stone surrounded by dead brush.

"Nine days," Haldir said pulling a blanket from one of the pack horses. "Here get some sleep, we move again at sunset." Because the elves could see just as well in the night as they did during the day it was easy to move at night. Had they not had Vanwamin with them they would travel endlessly, cutting their passage in half. But as it were, it was safer to rest while the sun was high.

Vanwamin tucked the blanket Haldir had given her under her head and settled into the dry plain grass. Rohan was stark and dry, Lorien had been an oasis of lively plants, fresh and green in the spring and a rich emerald as the summer bloomed. Rohan however seemed dead, naught but brittle brown prairie grass grew, broken here and there by misplaced boulders. With macabre visions dancing in her head she slipped into sleep.

Everything around Vanwamin was smoldering, trees, the ground, even the sky was an unearthly smoke color. In the remainder of what had once been a forest the miserable sound of a child crying sounded. Far way and with no specific direction. Vanwamin wanted to stop the noise, to comfort the child. She ran as fast as she could into denser trees, blackened by fire. They reached and grabbed at her like clawed hands, snagging in her hair and tearing at her clothes.

"Mommy!" The childs voice rang out in the silence, eerie in its endless echo. Without warning the corpse of a totaled minivan engulfed much of Vanwamin's sight. It too smoldered and was black with ash. "Momma!" A small white hand reached out the shattered window bloody and broken.

Vanwamin woke up herself up screaming in terror. Immediately she was surrounded by pale, elvish faces contorted by concern.

"Hush," Haldir said, his fair brow furrowed in confusion. "You will call every Warg from here to Mordor with your screeching." Bile rose in Vanwamin's throat as the visions of her dream haunted her waking brain. Everything had been so real, she could smell the smoke, feel the dread in the air, hear the child's voice. What had it said again? The visions began to blur, had it been daylight or night time? Was it a car or a van, maybe a truck? As dreams often do it blended into her conscious and she could not pick out details any longer, just the sickened feeling she had.

She pushed Haldir away, angry at herself for no real reason. She glanced around, avoiding the curious gazes of the Rivendell elves. The sun was far into the west now, she stood up and smiled sheepishly at Haldir.

"Spiders," She lied. "I spiders."


	12. Where Clouds Are Far Behind

**Thank you, as usual to all those who have reviewed! Please continue to do so even if its to tell me off for take so long to update. I would give you an excuse, but none seem good enough. Please, please review, it reminds me that I'm not writing just for myself anymore! **

**Unfortunately this particular journey to middle earth is coming to a close within the next chapter or so. So please stay tuned! **

**I will be publishing another Haldircentric fic after this one called White Horses Over Rohan, so please keep an eye out for it! **

**Thanks So much my readers! I truly wouldn't have made it this far without you!**

* * *

They traveled for nine days more in the same fashion. Vanwamin slept little for when she did the same disturbing nightmare would assault her and when she awoke she could remember nothing but smoldering trees and a wrecked car. Haldir did nothing to help her, he was withdrawn and associated little with anyone. She understood his need to protect his Lord and Lady, and respected it. However she longed to talk with someone. Arwen, while perfectly amiable, was far too distracted in her own worries to be bothered. She was far too intimidated to approach the Lady of Lorien, who would send her reassuring smiles wherever they caught each others gaze. So that left her alone in her own mind. A scenario that was less than fun.

On the ninth day they crested a hill heavily burdened with little pale blue flowers. Each step the silver horses took dozens of the tiny flowers were crushed beneath their hooves. She wondered if each innocent flower felt its death, mourned for those around it. Vanwamin shook her head, trying to clear away the morbid thoughts. She turned her face to the warm sun that was shining through the clouds. There was still a chill bite to the spring air but the sun was pleasantly warm and engulfing.

In the distance stood a city, the likes of which she had never seen before. It sprang from the mountains, great and white, a single pinnacle puncturing the sky in ardent exclamation of dynamism.

Awestruck she took the city in, it was beautiful and at the same time struck with sorrow. It had not been untouched by the war that she had fallen into, the air was thick with same anguish that forced her into the hall where Haldir lay dying. She glanced across the line of horses and riders to the proud elf. He was staring at the city, stoic as usual. Unwavering in his dedication to his people, his family, he life. She smiled briefly, a vision of what her life might be like if she was not plagued by lost memories and horrible dreams, playing in her mind. But she was and that would not change until she found out who she was. Her smile faltered when he returned her gaze, his was unreadable. She turned her gaze back to the city that was slowly growing larger. She could pick out the people milling around the seven levels that built the city.

Happy noises drifted down from the mountain city, music and joyous laughter. It seemed the dark sorrow was fading from this land. It lightened her mood slightly and chills spread over her body at the sound of welcoming horns. The surrealism of this moment, sitting atop a white horse sans bridle and saddle, dressed in the finely tailored garb of ethereal beings, being welcomed into a grandiose city, hit her hard. This was not a normal thing that happened everyday, she didn't need her memories to know that.

She clutched Andaer's mane in her hand as they entered a vast and consuming gate. The entire city was alive and buzzing, people were yelling and children were laughing. It made Vanwamin smile like nothing else had. A small boy came running from between two carts and straight into Andaer, the horse stopped and dipped his head to stare at the boy. The little boy gasped and looked between Andaer's massive head and Vanwamin who smiled warmly at him. The horse seemed to decided the little boy was less of a threat than first thought. He stepped backwards and nudged the boy around him. Still stunned by running into the beast of a horse the boy continued to stare for half a minute before shrieking with laughter and running away. Vanwamin couldn't help but laughing herself and as she turned to find her company she was met with Haldir's own smiling face. He helped her down and sent the horse on his way with a groom.

"You look to be in a much better spirits," Vanwamin said as they made their way through the crowded streets. He looked down at her, still smiling.

"You as well," he said. "I've never seen you smile so much."

"What do you mean?" She asked slightly baffled. "I smile just as much when I am with Rumil and Marrowyn." Haldir frowned. "And with you!" She laughed elbowing him in the ribs. He shook his head.

"No, Vanwamin. You are truly happy, you do not show such exuberance with us." His features fell and sorrow clouded his eyes. "Maybe you belong here in Gondor with your own people." Vanwamin however was not listening to a word he was saying. Her eyes were fixed on a distant subject with interest and pain.

She saw a little girl with raven hair and pale blue eyes dancing with several other children, the little blue flowers from the plains entwined in their hair. Her breath was stolen from her in a silent swoosh as the little girl from her dreams materialized and recognition lingered in her head. She knew this child, she knew she did. Running forward she tried to plow her way through the crowd but they converged as a wagon full of apples was pulled across her path. As the way cleared the little girl disappeared into the crowed on the other side of courtyard. A scream welled up in Vanwamin's throat as she pursued the girl through the throng of people and into the stone archways that lead to open air gardens and courtyards. Even here to crowd was too thick to keep up with the nimble child. She wanted to cry when she realized that she had finally lost her. A thousand questions ran through her head as she slowly wandered to one of the stone sills to sit down. Who was the child? How did she know her? Could she help her find her way home?

"What in Eru's name are you doing?" Asked Haldir who had made little effort to keep track of her, the bond let him know where she was.

"I know her Haldir, I don't know what her name is, or how I know her, but I do."

"Who?" Asked Haldir resting a hand on her shoulder.

"The little girl," Vanwamin said shaking her head. "I have to find her."

"Then we will find her." Haldir wrapped his arms around her and for once she relaxed into his embrace.

"She's my only hope," she muttered.

"No," he said holding her at arms length. "You are your only hope Vanwamin. It all lies with you." He lifted her chin so she had to look at him and stared into her eyes for a long second. "Now its time we rejoined our company, they will be missing us."

Haldir and Vanwamin were shown to their separate but adjoining accommodations in a wing far far from the bustle of the inner city. They were in a tear below the main atrium of the citadel near the sixth gate. Here in Minas Tirith the rooms were slightly more closed in and a lot less comfortable. Every thing was stone and it made Vanwamin long for the soft forest of Lorien. Her bed was almost more luxurious though, with several layers of down and thick fur blankets. Eager to continue her search for the little girl she changed from her traveling clothes and washed as quickly as possible before knocking softly on Haldir's door.

"Enter," he called out. She pushed the heavy door open to find Haldir lounging on his bed, hair undone and bootless.

"I wanted to.. um..." She was completely distracted by the strange relaxed aura the elf exuded.

"You wanted to?" Haldir asked propping himself up on an elbow.

"Uh...oh! Go looking for the little girl, she can't be that far..." She couldn't tear her eyes away from him. What on earth was wrong with her? She shook her head as he sat up and pulled his boots on.

"Well, we should go then," he said invading her space slightly. The peace he felt when he was near her was getting stronger. He needn't be as near to her to feel completely sedate, since she had seen the girl the feeling was growing. Even with her in the next room he had felt equable.

He lead the way through city, gate after gate until they reached the great gate that lead into Pelennor Fields. All the while he told her of the city's history and of the people that once lived there. Of the great kings of men who ruled. She found herself disappointed when they didn't find the girl again, but completely engrossed in the stories Haldir was telling. She wanted to remember if she had stories like this to tell, if she would tell them so eloquently to him as he told them to her.

* * *

They searched for the little girl for three more days. Haldir finally convinced Vanwamin to cease the search and wait for the girl to come to her. They would travel the city each day, meeting frequently with Orophin or other members of their guard. The day of Arwen and Aragorn's wedding the population of Minas Tirith seemed to triple. There were men, women, and children traversing the streets singing and rejoicing. It was mid-years day and the sun shone brightly. Atop of the bastion of rock that split the halves of the city, gathered around the seat they witnessed the marriage of Aragorn to Arwen. Vanwamin couldn't help but be slightly confused by the ceremony and its underlying implications. This was a sign of a new era for these people a knew life free of war.

As the bride and groom lead the procession away Vanwamin slipped her hand into Haldir's and squeezed. If she did not find the child before they left Minas Tirith, she would move on, she would give herself freely and completely to the elf that had been trying so hard to help her. She would forget that she couldn't remember and move on with her life. She would return the help she had been given and the love she was afraid of.

Haldir look down at her curiously, she had some strange glassy eyed emotion swirling about her. He did not care for she was close and that was all that mattered at the moment. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. She glanced up and smiled, a determined look in her eyes.

Later that evening they adjourned to the Great Hall of Feasts to celebrate. The hall was filled to capacity with people. They ate and danced, sang and yelled of the memorable day. Vanwamin sat as a guest at a long table to right of the high table. She, Haldir, Orophin, the company guard, and several others were seated here. It was here, half way through a course of what she could only call "human" food, she realized who Aragorn was. He had been the man who pulled her into the clutches of Helms Deep, he had very inadvertently set in motion of series of events that had completely changed her, whoever she was. She wanted to approach him and congratulate him and his bride, she wanted to thank him, but didn't know the customs of this world nearly well enough. Maybe at some point they would mingle with their people and she would get a chance to thank Aragorn.

At some point their entire company abandoned the tables and set out to the dance floor. Something told Vanwamin that she was not nearly as good at dancing as she was at sitting and come to find out she was absolutely correct. She stumbled over her own feet in attempt to keep time with the exuberant music. She laughed though. Laughed at herself, laughed for herself, she laughed as she hadn't in as long as she could remember.

She finally rested her aching feet as the music toned to a placid level. She stood listening to Haldir and Orophin chat idly with men of Aragorn's court not much interested in the conversation. She let her eyes and mind wander around the gathering of people. The smile that was fixed on her face vanished as she caught sight of a little girl dancing by herself near the large hearth in the corner. Lifting the skirts of the fine elvish made gown she wore, she nearly sprinted across the crowded hall. She came to a sudden stop, expecting the girl to suddenly vanish like she had before. The girl kept dancing, her long hair glowing in fire light, her eyes closed, listening to the music. Vanwamin didn't know what to do. She didn't want to scare the child by grabbing her up and demanding to know who she was. Instead she took a step forward and cleared her throat. The little girl stopped dancing immediately and stared at her with crystal blue eyes. Before Vanwamin could ask what her name was the little girl shrieked and threw herself at Vanwamin.

"Mama!"

All at once the world shifted at the feeling of the little girl wrapped around her legs. She reached down and picked her up burying her face in the child's sweet smelling hair. Memories slammed into her like gale force winds, people, places, birthdays, and funerals. The only thing keeping her anchored was the little girl in her arms. A little girl whos name was Penelope Ann Farling the only child of Amelia and Henry Farling. A little girl she affectionately called Bluebird because she had to hear Somewhere Over The Rainbow every night before bed. Tears threatened to spill and she looked for a way out of the crowded hall. Haldir was there suddenly ushering them towards the huge oak doors the lead the way into the cool night air.

"Mama, where were you?" Cried Penelope her face red and blotchy making her eyes even brighter. "Daddy said we had to let you go, like the butterflies in summer, he said you were gone!" A sob escaped Amelia at the thought of her daughter thinking she was gone forever.

"What do you mean daddy?" She asked eventually though the tears and hiccups. "Daddy is here?"

"Yes!" Penelope gasped a smile on her face, the smile quickly faded. "But he says he loves Addy now, that she will be like a new mama for me. I don't want Addy to be my new mama!"

"Shh," Amelia shushed her daughter as she sat on a bench near a fountain. Just beyond the fountain was a white tree, new buds just starting to form on its stark branches. The little girls words rang in her ears. Henry had moved on. Some part of her felt betrayed. That she had known that somewhere someone waited for her and Henry had just moved on. Then the memory of the night she was thrown into this alternate dimension engulfed her like she was living it all over again.

They were driving down the snowy road on the way from Minneapolis where they had just been visiting her parents. Penelope was a sleep in the back seat and she and Henry were quietly arguing. They were in the process of separating and things were getting worse between them. Angrily Amelia had twisted off the small diamond ring she wore and smacked it down on the console between them. The noise had woken Penelope up and as she had reached around to assure her daughter everything was all right a truck smashed into her side of the van.

She came out of the memory gasping and clinging to Penelope for dear life. She never wanted to put the child down, never wanted anything to take her away. They sat like this for the longest time, the little girl enveloped by her mother who was shaking and sobbing.

Haldir stood in the distance looking out over Pelennor fields at the seat. While his face was ever stoic his inner turmoil was great. He did not dare seek Vanwamin out before she came to him, he was terrified of what she had remembered.

Amelia did not stop shaking until someone came out of the doors again yelling Penelope's name. It was Henry. He came around the corner to the fountain and stopped in his tracks.

"My god, Amelia? I, I thought you were dead, no one had seen you, your alive?" Henry stuttered and stumbled with his words.

"Yes I'm alive Henry, I've been alive this entire time," she said standing up. She set Penelope to the ground and faced Henry head on.

"Mia, if I had known..."

"Don't, Henry. Just don't." Amelia crossed her arms and stared at Henry. He was not much taller than she, stocky with light brow hair that had grown to his shoulders. He also sported a beard that suited him well. "I hear you've found someone else."

"Listen... I didn't."

"No, Henry, I am happy for you." Amelia smiled truly. "You moved on, I understand. Do you love her?"

"More than anything," a goofy lop sided smile graced Henry's face. "And she loves me back."

"Then I could be no happier." Amelia smiled closed the distance between them to embrace him like the brother he had always been to her. They had been high school sweet hearts who made a mistake that resulted in the most beautiful girl in the world. They had never truly loved one another and had tried to stay together for Penelope, but it had steadily gotten worse until they had to let each other go.

"Where have you been Amelia? I truly thought you had died."

"Thats what you were worried about when you and Penelope were dropped into this place? Whether or not I was alive? I'm touched." She laughed. They sat and talked for hours about where they had gone and what had happened to them. Henry and Penelope had woken up in Rohan as well, but far from her and in the path of riders that had saved Helms Deep. They had crossed paths as Amelia was take away to Lorien, though she had been unconscious for that bit. Henry had then traveled from Rohan to Gondor when the battle of Pelennor Fields had taken place. He had been drafted into ranks of the riders but promised Penelope to come back unscathed. Amelia couldn't help but laugh hysterically at the thought of Henry atop a horse with sword.

"I'm pretty handy with a sword in a crisis I tell you!" He said indignatly.

"Sure, and I'm a master seamstress!" He looked at her doubtfully and laughed.

"There you are!" A beautiful young woman with golden hair came around the corner looking at Henry with contempt. "Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere... oh, who is this?"

"I'm Penelope's mother," said Amelia standing up. Penelope had fallen asleep in her arms and stayed that way.

"Oh, I... Henry?" Panic flashed in the young woman's eyes as she looked between Henry and Amelia.

"No! Don't worry about me!" Amelia said repositioning the sleeping girl. "I'm not here to reclaim him, I'm just visiting, please see me as nothing more than a friend." Henry stood and crossed over to the woman and took her hand in his.

"Adelwyn, this is Amelia, Adelwyn." He said leading her closer so the two could meet.

"Its a pleasure to meet you Adelwyn. I hope Henry hasn't been too cumbersome to you." She smiled sweetly inclining her head. Adelwyn returned the gesture, her smile unsure still. "I think someone is out for the night, maybe we should put her to bed."

"I can take her," Henry moved forward to take Penelope but Amelia pulled back.

"No," she said sharply. "No, Henry, I want to hold her as long as I can."

"Okay," Henry held his hands up and began walking towards gate that would lead them to the level under them. They all walked silently though the tunnel in the rock to to the opposite side of the level that she and Haldir were staying. They had just reached Henry's quarters when a something trembled and seared in Amelia's chest. She stopped dead and closed her eyes.

"Whats wrong?" Asked Henry grabbing her shoulder.

"Nothing," She said through gritted teeth. She knew though, that the pain in her chest, this was what Haldir felt whenever she got too far away from him. Instinctively she knew that if she took one more step she would sever that bond and she would never be able to knit it back together. She had a choice to make. To let Haldir go forever or to beg him for forgiveness for being so incredibly ignorant and selfish. She didn't want to say goodbye to him, she wanted the excuse of their bond to be able to return to Lorien with him. "Take Penelope. I will find you in the morning. I have to go beg someone for forgiveness now."

"Since when do you beg?" He asked taking Penelope from her arms. She instantly felt the loss her daughter.

"Since I almost died to let them live." She said before turning and literally running back through the street and gate to the citadel once more. She found Haldir still standing at the seat staring blankly into the night.

"Haldir O' Lorien?" She asked quietly to get his attention. He turned to look at her, his face expressionless.

"You have a daughter." It was not a question, it was merely a statement of fact. She nodded.

"Yes, her name is Penelope Ann Farling, and I am Amelia Farling."

"And your husband?"

"I haven't got a husband." She said sternly looking him in the eye. He had been able to hear their conversation, see them laughing together. There was more hurt in his eyes than she could bear, now suspicious and doubt. "Where I come from we can annul our marriages, and we did. Henry is no more than my friend and Penelope's father."

"Then you have remembered your past?" His eyes were still filled with doubt but there was some hope in them.

"Yes. Somethings are still hazy, I have a sister but I cannot remember her name. I can't remember Penelope's birthday or our address." She smiled widely and took his hand. "I can remember the important things Haldir, and because I can remember I know how selfish I was being. I should have let go, maybe I would have remembered sooner, I don't know. But I remember now, and I am free. If you will forgive me, I would love to start over."

"What did you say your name was?" He asked a smile tugging at his lips.

"Amelia Farling." He raised her hand to his lips and brushed them across the back of it.

"Amelia Farling," He said stepping closer to her. "I am Haldir of Lorien, it is a pleasure meeting you."

"The pleasure is mine," she said reaching up to bury her hand in his hair. "I assure you." She pulled his head down to kiss him with everything she had.

* * *

**Zebra-Scarf- Were going to say that I'm not a complete dolt and pretend like Arwen wasn't human yet! Hehe. Your completely correct, she would have already made her decision to forgo her immortality in Rivendell. Sigh, oh well, so much for running, somewhat, with the books. XD**

**happyazngirl- Yes, plot is always a good thing. :)**

**Emzy2K11- yeah, I'm really sorry. I'm not very good at the "update soon" thing. Lol **

**Lintered- Haha, I travel a lot and use the threat on my friends all the time. It just sort of came out on paper. :P**

**alien.94- Thanks so much, sorry it took so long to update!**

**Lady Minuialwen- Yes indeedy. Haha!**

**MoonDemon36- Thank you so much, I am glad you enjoyed it. Sorry an update took so long! Thank you for reviewing and hopefully you still stick with me till the end.**


	13. Where You'll Find Me

**Without further ado, chapter 13...**

* * *

Their stay in Minas Tirith was withering to an end. The summer had bloomed into muggy days and sheetless nights. Despite the miserable heat Amelia had never been happier. Her relationship with Haldir was mending quickly, they spent the majority of their time together not out of obligation, but happily chatting and truly enjoying one another.

Even Orophin seemed pleased by the turn of events, he would often join them on walks around the city, no longer casting arrogant looks toward Amelia. She had shed the pseudonym Vanwamin, but occasionally Haldir still called her by the name, most of the time teasing her. Somethings didn't change, was still able to get lost in her own room.

Penelope became a permanent figure in their lives and Haldir found he rather enjoyed the young girl's often boisterous nature. It had been so long since children of any race had graced Lorien. He eventually brought of the point of leaving one sultry evening as he and Amelia laid amongst the try grass of Pelennor Field.

"The company will be leaving for Lorien in a weeks time." He said absently letting her hair spill through his fingers. She seemed to contemplate this for a long time. Many emotions crossing her features.

"Haldir, I... I can't leave Penelope..." she almost whimpered at the mere thought.

"I know, I wouldn't ask you to," he assured her. "I think she should return with us to Lorien." Amelia turned around and looked at him propping herself up on her arm.

"Are you sure?" She asked hesitantly. "I mean, I would love that, but, is it such a good idea?

"What do you mean?" He asked brushing her hair away from her face.

"I mean, there are no other children in Lorien, she is good at entertaining herself but only to an extent. And it wont be like having a pet, we can't just leave her when we want go somewhere. Not only that but she has been known to throw tantrums, she is child after all. And-" Haldir cut her off by covering her mouth with his hand.

"I practically raised my brothers, and have you forgotten Rumil is still there? He is a child if ever there was one. Amelia, I am no fool, I know what it would mean, having a child in Lorien would raise everyone spirits, they are a rare and cherished thing in this lingering dark."

"I will have to talk to Henry about it, but yes, I think it would be a wonderful thing, and you are a wonderful man for suggesting it." She leaned forward and kissed him softly.

"Elf," he said when she pulled back.

"Arrogant," she growled slapping him lightly on the chest.

"And rightfully so," He laughed rolling and pinning her under him. "Look what I've been given for such little work on my part." He kissed his way up her neck to her lips. Making her understand just how much he cared for her.

"I consider almost dying kind of like work," she said running her hands through his hair.

"I assure you, the only thing I had to work at what getting you to trust me."

"Well I trust you now," She said smiling. "I think I even love you." He raised a brow at her sarcastic tone.

"You only think? Well then, I shall have to prove myself a proper elf to love." He dipped his head and kissed slowly but deeply, making her moan.

"Fine, fine," she said gasping for breath. "I love you! Really I do!"

"That's better," he said kissing her again for good measure. He laid back in the grass and pulled her close to him. She settled her head on his chest feeling content beyond reason. The serenity that had drawn Haldir to the woman in his arms was so incredibly intense, he would be well pressed to ever leave her embrace again. A dark thought passed through the haze in his mind, threatening to break the spell. She was mortal, a human, he was an elf, one of the eldar race. He would stay eternal and she would fade with time. He looked to the stars searching for an answer, praying that he could keep his human with him.

* * *

"Henry, listen to reason, please!" Amelia said flapping her arms in frustration.

"Amelia, she is _our_ daughter," Henry shouted as he paced the floor of his room. Penelope was with Adelwyn while they discussed custody arrangements. "I would like to have her in my life as well."

"Then what do you suggest Henry? I cannot stay here, my home is in Lorien with Haldir now. Yours is here with Adelwyn." Amelia crossed her arms and stared him down.

"She stays with each of us, six weeks at a time," he suggested crassly.

"A year." She said raising her chin. "It takes six weeks alone to travel."

"Six months and we make her write letters every day."

"Deal."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't forget how to negotiate." He muttered shaking his head.

"What?"

"You don't remember?" He asked. She had been spending a small amount of time with Henry trying to peace together what she was missing, so far she had learned she had been on the PTA and soccer club committee, a true suburban mom.

"Remember what?" She asked raising her eyebrows.

"You went to law school," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She had no clue, didn't remember an ounce of it. "You loved to argue and negotiate so much you though you'd become a lawyer. But then Penelope came along and the hospital put you on extra shifts."

"Hospital?"

"North Point, you were a nurse."

"That... actually explains a lot." She muttered shaking her head. "So, its settled then. I take Penelope home with me, she returns in six months time. Thank you Henry."

"Keep her safe, Mia." He said hugging her. "And make sure she remembers that I'm her daddy, not elf boy."

"Haldir," She said sternly. "We've talked about this, his name is Haldir, not "elf boy" or "princess"..."

"Sorry babe," He shrugged as if it were nothing. She hauled back and punched him in the gut with enough force to knock the wind out of him.

"And I'm not your babe anymore." Amelia walked out of the room to find her daughter and tell her the news.

* * *

"Mama! Look!" The little voice called out from balcony of the talan. Penelope had been thrilled to come to Lorien with Amelia and Haldir, she loved the woods and the freedom she had here.

Amelia rushed to the balcony with over exaggerated enthusiasm to see what her daughter did. In the tree that supported their talan a pair of bluebirds sang a sweet melody as they built a nest.

"Where do bluebirds fly?" Asked Amelia scooping her daughter up and spinning around. She shrieked and laughed.

"Over the rainbow!" She screeched clinging to her mother.

"Your not trying to throw her over the balcony again are you?" Asked as voice from with in the talan. Amelia set Penelope down and the little girl flew into the talan screaming even louder.

"Uncle Rumil!" She launched herself into the elf's arms, laughing.

"There's our Bluebird." He said hugging her close. Rumil had indeed been the biggest source of entertainment for Penelope. When they had returned to Lorien both he and Marrowyn had been shocked to find a child in the company, but were overjoyed. Most of the elves were. They were also happy with the news that Vanwamin had turned into Amelia and that she and Haldir were happily entangled. Though the latter did not seem to be a surprise.

Rumil and Marrowyn had forgone their original wedding date and married a week after their return. Neither one of them could be happier.

"Where is my troublesome brother?" Rumil asked setting Penelope on the ground. The little girl ran off to her room singing about bluebirds.

"The training grounds." Said Amelia still smiling. As she and Haldir got closer their bond got stronger, or weaker, depending on the perspective. They were able to go farther from each other now and Haldir was planning on rejoining the ranks of the Lorien guard. It unsettled Amelia slightly to think that she would have long months away from him, but Marrowyn assured her that it was not all bad.

"He is serious then," Rumil said shaking his head. He didn't seem to like the idea any more than she did. She nodded solemnly.

"It wont be that bad, he is happy now." She said.

"He is happy because of you," Rumil laughed.

"Did you want something Rumil?" She asked playfully pushing him out of the way.

"Only to deliver something to Haldir," he said quickly patting the satchel at his side. "I will find him."

"You can leave it here Rumil," Amelia said quirking an eyebrow.

"Uh, no, I think this is to be delivered directly to him," he laughed nervously.

"If you say so..." she furrowed her brow let him leave the talan wondering what was in that satchel.

* * *

Later that evening as Amelia was setting the table Haldir took Penelope outside on the balcony where she could not hear their whispers. She looked out at them curiously wondering what they were up too. Penelope gasped and then started laughing in her bright tinkling laugh. Haldir smiled and placed something in her hand then set her on the ground. She tore into the talan threatening to shake it from its foundations in the precarious tree.

"Mama! Mama!" She slid into Amelias leg in her rush to get to her. Amelia laughed and picked her up.

"What is so important Bluebird?" She asked kissing her daughter on the cheek.

"Hally wanted me to give you this!" She said thrusting a little gold box into her hands. She loved the nickname Penelope had given Haldir, she couldn't quite pronounce his name correctly so she had settled for the adorable alternative.

"Well Thank you Bird," She said sitting Penelope at the table. She opened the box not sure what to expect. Inside two sliver rings laid nestled in the black velvet. Her stomach clenched and her heart flew at a unprecedented pace.

"Haldir," She turned around to find him standing directly behind her looking slightly sheepish. "What... what is this?" He took her hand and lead her to the balcony, keeping a close eye on Penelope who was making a house and people out of the bread on her plate.

"I am unsure if I am doing this properly, I extracted the information from a five year old after all," he said nervously. It was slightly amusing to see the stoic elf so fidgety. He took the box and rings from her and presented it to her. "Amelia Farling, will you marry me?" She fought for a very long time to keep a straight face, so long in fact that his face fell and he turned away. When he did she burst into tears while laughing hysterically. She couldn't say a word but wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. "Is that your way of saying yes?" He asked when she pulled away wiping her eyes.

"Of course you fool." She laughed.

"Then why are you crying?" He asked brushing a tear away with his thumb.

"I don't know," she admitted slipping the slimmer band over her ring finger.

"No," he said moving it to her right index finger. "Here." He put on the matching band and laced their fingers together. She smiled up at him, thousands of thoughts running through her head. None of so prevalent as the one that shouted, I love you.

* * *

Amelia lay awake watching the sun slowly make its ascent into the sky, she had Penelope safely tucked under her chin, Haldir to her back, his arms wrapped around both of them. At some point her right arm had fallen asleep and left leg was twisted painfully, but she wouldn't have moved for the world. Did she eventually have to move when Penelope rolled in her sleep and elbowed her in the jaw causing her head to collide with Haldir's nose. He woke up with a almighty curse, clutching his nose.

"Pray tell, what kind of wake up was that?" He asked once they had all nursed their wounds properly. Penelope stayed blissfully asleep through the ordeal and Amelia was trying to pry her arm out from under her.

"Sorry," She said finally extracting her arm. She rolled over and kissed him lightly before crawling over him to get out of the bed. She walked across the room to pull the gossamer hangings back from the balcony.

"What is wrong?" He asked following her to the balcony. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"I've been thinking about something," she said leaning her head back against his shoulder. "Your going to live forever, right?"

"Ideally, yes," he muttered knowing where this conversation was leading.

"I'm not... I'm going to die here in a few decades, and I... I don't know..."

"I have a theory," he said cutting her off. "When I spoke to Lady Galadriel of our predicament she said that you had taken a piece of my soul into you. That is why we were unable to get so far from one another, why I feel complete when your close."

"So in theory, I will have some of immortality that you have?" She asked.

"In theory," he said.

"Then I will cling to that theory for dear life." she said turning in his arms and kissing him.

* * *

The day of their wedding was blessed by twittering bluebirds and sunshine, Amelia was dressed in some complicated frock that Marrowyn had insisted she wear, her hair was twisted and braided so elegantly she hardly looked herself. The ceremony in itself was uncomplicated and brief. Requiring only few words and an exchange of rings. Marrowyn stepped up to take place of Amelia's mother and placed a simple blue stone around Haldir's neck. It had been a necklace that Amelia had found in the pocket of her jeans, something her mother had actually given her for her 16th birthday, fitting really. They celebrated into the evening with drink and feast and as the sunset they parted ways with the others, eager to be alone.

"Mommy, I will be okay!" Insisted Penelope as Amelia tried to hug her goodbye. She would be staying with Rumil and Marrowyn for the night, something Amelia wasn't sure she wanted. It wasn't that she didn't trust Rumil and Marrowyn with her, she just didn't want to let her go again.

"I know that, now give me a hug you little bird!" She said pulling her daughter into her arms. Penelope gave her a rushed squeeze before wiggling out of her arms and running off to find Rumil.

"That child..." Mutter Amelia as Haldir came up behind her and kissed her cheek.

"...Will be fine," he said taking her hand.

"Are you sure?" She pouted. "Does Rumil know she's allergic to strawberries?"

"He does," he said patiently leading her back toward their talan.

"What about her blanket, did she take her blanket?" She worried glancing behind her to the ever shrinking glade.

"I think she did," Haldir said sighing. "Its one night. She will be fine."

"I don't know..." She started to pull away from him but he caught her and kissed her fiercely backing her into a tree.

"Oh," was the only sound she could muster. "One night wont be so bad." She finally said rather dreamily.

"I should think not," He breathed in her ear sending shivers down her spine.

* * *

**Spriggan-** Thank you for the nice review, alas it is indeed coming to an end. As for the immortality part, you'll just have to wait and see. ;)

**DraggonflyMaiden- **Awe, thanks!

**Laurena1234- **Thank you for the review. I hope your questions were answered in this here chapter. :P

**Lintered- **Oh my, happy? Not in the least. Yes its coming to a close, I've actually had these chapters written, so I'm done with it. I'm glad you didn't see the memories of them being her child, I thought it was too obvious! haha.

**Lady Minuialwen- **Thanks!

**lilo-** Haha, yes, Legolas can be overrated sometimes. ;P Thank you for the review!

**Zebra-Scarf-** Thank you so much! White Horses Over Rohan will begin its journey next Monday when the last chapter to this fic is published. Don't be sad!


	14. Where Bluebirds Fly

**Well, I thought I would post this a day early because I'm feeling benevolent. I had intended to publish the first chapter of "White Horses Over Rohan" tomorrow with this chapter, however my word processor hates me. The bloody thing crashed and I lost almost all of it. You'd think I would learn considering this happened with Bluebird too. Ah well. It will take a couple of weeks to get back to where I was, I will try and post a couple chapters here and there as I go. :) **

**Onward to the story! **

* * *

Amelia laughed as she watched her granddaughter chase after her second son. It was hard watching Penelope age as she should. She sat with her back to her watching her daughter and brother. They looked the same age now, she and her daughter, it was strange seeing her so mature with a family of her own while she stayed the same as always. Haldir had been right when he thought they were bound eternally. She hadn't aged a day since she had saved him, except mentally maybe, able to find wisdom in this vast place.

Penelope was married now with a six year old and an infant daughter, her husband was of Rohan, where she had met him years before on a visit to see her father. Henry had married Adelwyn and had a son and daughter, they happily moved to Rohan before Henry's untimely death. Amelia and Haldir had, had two sons, Halvanin and Vandinar, Vandinar was aging slightly slower than Halvanin had, a strange side effect of their parentage. Halvanin appeared to most as a human, his dark hair and blue eyes untelling of his half-elven heritage. He had aged like a human until he turned fourteen when he started to age as an elf. No one was sure why this happened maybe because of their bond or because some unseen force said so. Vandinar was technically 10 years old but physically he looked the same age as Melody, Penelope's daughter. His mind was much more advanced though, like his brother he spoke both elvish languages along with the common speech, while Amelia was still struggling with Sindarin.

They had moved from Lorien several years ago, to Lindon, after the departure of Lady Galadriel. Haldir and his brothers were now the only remaining members of the Lorien Guard, sworn to stay and protect Lord Celeborn. Amelia suspected it more to the point of the fact that they couldn't bear to live without one another. Sadronniel had sailed to Valinor with the last party of elves to leave Lorien. It bore greatly on Orophin not to be with his wife, but some part of him was greatly pleased she was not here, she was safe in Valinor, free to do as she pleased with the drapes and linen of the house. Marrowyn stayed faithfully with Rumil and they too had several children. Two daughters and a son the same age as Vandinar.

It was impossible to say how long they would stay in this part of middle earth. Soon she would loose her daughter and then her granddaughter, her children and theirs. It was too much to think about... She shook her head and tried to focus on the present, of the children laughing and playing on the beach before her. She walked up the sandy beach and sat softly next to her daughter.

"Why do you look so sad?" Penelope asked sifting the sand between her fingers. "Hally will be home soon." Amelia laughed at the nickname Penelope had never quite let go of, she alternated between calling him 'Hally' and 'Dad', the latter of which had made Amelia cry. Henry always remained daddy though.

"I'm not sad for him," She said wrapping her arms around her daughter and kissing the top of her head. "I will always have him."

"Awe, mom, not this again..." Huffed Penelope hugging her back. "What did we say about this? We will deal with it when we have to! For now, we will be happy!

"I know, I know, I'm being selfish." She said releasing her and watching their children play.

"You know, its a little strange knowing Van is my brother, that we share the same blood." Penelope said watching the little blond splash in the crystal blue water.

"Your telling me," muttered Amelia pulling her knees up to her chin. A screaming baby woke them from their reverie. They turned to see Haleth coming down the wood stairs to the beach, baby Sarthen in his arms.

"Penelope!" He called out at the last step. She sighed and got up to take the baby from him.

"Mom? Can you watch Melody please?" She called quiteing the baby. Amelia nodded and waved them off. She was left on the beach watching the two children play.

The sun was easing into the west as Amelia lead the children back to their home in the heart of Mithlond. She missed Lorien greatly here in the streets of Mithlond, while it was forest here it was not the same. These were not Mellryn trees and this was not Lorien.

Haldir met her at the door of their make-shift talan, he had been gone for weeks on a trip to Rivendell to escort the last of the elves to Lindon. She smiled brightly at the sight of him. She did not like the fact that their bond let them be gone from one another now. She didn't like being away from him period. They embraced each other at the door, both Melody and Vandinar voicing their complaints followed almost immediately by Penelope.

"Hey, your house is that way," Amelia said pointing out the door. "You have problem with what I do in my house, you know where to go." Penelope laughed and settled herself at the table.

"I'm good, I want to spend as much time with you before we return to Rohan."

"Are you really going?" Asked Amelia pulling Haldir in the door and closing it.

"Yes mother, Haleth's parents would also like to see their grandchildren." Haleth nodded his head smiling. For the most part Amelia liked the boy, he had been one of the children that had been atop the embankments of Helms Deep.

"Couldn't they just come here?" She asked rolling her eyes. She had, had this argument with her daughter before and always ended up losing.

"No, mom..." Penelope droned handing the now sleeping baby to Haleth.

"Fine," Amelia pouted burying her face in Haldir shoulder.

"Oh stop pouting," Penelope said hugging both of them. "Its not like I'll never see you again."

"When do you leave?" Haldir asked extracting himself from the women.

"In two days time," said Haleth laying the baby down in a bassinet in the corner.

"Two days?" Amelia objected cursing foully.

"Grams that's a bad word!" Shrieked Melody she slapped her hand over her mouth looking to the corner where her sister slept. Thankfully she stayed asleep.

"Alright, time for bed my dear," Penelope said ushering her towards a room they kept for her and the baby.

"You too," Amelia said eyeing Vandinar. He nodded and walked to the room he and Halvanin shared. "Where is Halvanin?"

"Most likely with Cirdan, he has been teaching him the craft the ship making." Haldir said shaking his head.

"Is that safe?" Asked Amelia furrowing her brow.

"Yes, love, he will be fine." Haldir gently squeezing her.

* * *

"Remember to stop frequently, the baby will need rest. And don't be stupid and stay out after dark, and..."

"Mom, I've made this trip before, I think I can handle it. I'll even make sure we look both ways before crossing the street." Penelope lifted herself into the back of the wagon that their food store and clothing were packed in. Melody was sleeping amongst the packs wrapped in winter furs, the baby held tightly in Penelope's arms.

"Alright, you be safe and send a letter to me as soon as you arrive safely." Amelia said pulling her daughter close and kissing her granddaughter on the forehead. Haldir stepped forward to kiss Penelope on the head and wish them luck. He saluted Haleth and pulled Amelia away.

"Keep my daughter safe Haleth!" She called as she was lead away.

"Don't give mom too hard of a time about the boat thing okay?" Penelope said to Halvenin tucking some of his dark hair behind his ear. They looked almost identical the two of them, though Halvenin was quickly growing taller than her.

"Take care of my nieces," He said hugging her. He turned in the same manner of his father to salute Haleth and retreated to stand with his parents.

"'Bye Penny," Vandinar said wrapping his arms around her waist. She ruffled his blond hair with her free hand and bent to kiss his head.

"Good bye little one, next time I see you, you will be bigger than me I bet."

"Most assuredly," he said grinning. Sometimes she hated that he spoke more eloquently than she did.

"We will miss you!" Penelope yelled as they made their way from Mithlond and into the forest.

"Always Bluebird." Amelia said clinging to her husband and sons as she watched her daughter and her family chase the morning light.

* * *

**Well there you have it! **

**I have to thank Tuckborough(dot)net and their endless supply of information on middle earth. I spent many a hour pouring over time lines and their blueprint of Minas Tirith making sure I got things semi-right.**

**Also a HUGE thank you to all my readers who stuck with me through this. Lady Minuialwen particularly, I believe she reviewed each and every chapter. Zebra-Scarf, who came in late but stayed faithful. And everyone else who followed us from start to finish but didn't review, I know you out there!**

* * *

**Fun Facts about this fiction:**

The title was previously 'Of Elves and Men' and it was not going to involve Haldir at all.

Haldir and Vanwamin were originally suppose to marry before leaving for Gondor. In conjunction she was suppose to be pregnant, the feeling of the baby was to bring back her memories. However the time line did not allow for this, and I'm quite glad. XD

Amelia was originally to be called Carolyn and Penelope was to be Anna.

Originally there was no 'Henry', Amelia was a single parent.

The movie Australia inspired the title, the chapter names are all taken from the song "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" originally sang in the movie "The Wizard Of Oz."

While the title song is "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" the theme song of this fiction is "Arms" by Christina Perri.

The song "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri also has a lot of significance to this fiction. Along with "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North and "Chasing Pavements" by Adele.

I listened to Vivaldi and country music while writing most of the chapters.

I lost chapter 6 when I handed my computer off to my brother and had to rewrite it entirely.

I got distracted when writing this... A LOT. XD

As I was writing the last few sequences of this fiction my Pandora radio was on. It started playing songs like "Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole and "Bluebird" by Christina Perri, the latter of which I had never heard. Talk about serendipity.


End file.
